So here we are, Internet. The last day of NaBloPopMoFo. When I very apprehensively stuck my toe in the waters of everyday posting, I was almost certain I’d make it a week and a half, skip a few days and then write about how only suckers actually complete NaBloPoMo and how it’s all about conformity and writing for writing’s sake and how I couldn’t bear to put myself inside that box. Am in that box now, bitches! And it’s pretty comfortable. There is a couch, premier cable and a fridge full of fancy beer up in here. I like it! Unfortunately, I can’t stay- and mostly that reason is because this metaphor got really long and I’m having trouble staying focused. Also because posting everyday, while it’s been invaluable to me, is not a realistic goal for the month of December. AKA: The month where every nano-second is scheduled in some way,shape or form.
I was able to write about a lot of things I had been meaning to for a long time, and some things I had never meant to write about at all just sort of happened. It was a learning experience about what I am capable of and the times when my energy waned there was always pictures! glorious pictures! Thanks to everyone who commented and said oh-so nice things about my little family and I. I so appreciate people taking time out of their day to read about what we are up to. Even if it is just to laugh at all the ways we tend to make asses out of our selves.
In the interest of moving on-Here is a preview of my December Shit-I-Have-A-Lot-To-Do List, so (HEAVEN FORBID) you don’t risk not being up to date on what is coming for us. Plus I need to make a to-do list and if I also make it a blog post? Two birds, One stone. Am stream-lining, people.
December 1st: Put Christmas decorations out. Utilize the brand new-i-ness of Rudolph and Frosty DVDs to distract children from tying one another up with strings of lights and/or brightly colored ribbon.
December 2nd: Clean some shit. Probably wipe down the light fixtures which all appear to be growing fur due to all the dust on them. Scrub floors. Or watch Bill scrub floors whilst telling him he’s not doing it right. Quit denying that Keaton is actually going to be two and work on his memory DVD already!
December 3rd: Chaperone Rowan’s preschool field trip to see Cinderella at the Children’s Theater. Feed her Draught of Well Behavedness beforehand so we don’t have another debacle like the tree farm trip last March. Wrap Keaton’s presents. Cry/blubber over the loss of his one-year-old-ness.
December 4th: Keaton is Two! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I’m pretty sure I strictly forbid this somewhere in my parenting contract. Why doesn’t that boy ever listen to me? After everything I have done for him he just goes ahead and turns a whole year older. TWO? I mean really! Despite this disregard and blatant insubordination I will hug him and love him and thank God and/or whoever else runs this joint for giving me my healthy beautiful boy. To celebrate: Pick out and put up our tree, and maybe go to the Holidazzle parade if we’re feeling stupid/adventurous. Eat cake, sing Happy Birthday, open presents- the whole she-bang.
December 5th: Family party. Eat more cake. Sing more Happy Birthday. Open more presents. Collapse on couch with beer/wine/vodka/scotch/am not picky partiesarealotofwork.
December 6th: Be with my family. Remember my dad.
December 7th-10th: Lose 15 pounds.
December 11th: Fit into the red number I just bought and go to Bill’s formal holiday party. Drink a lot, probably.
December 12th: Wake up. Take Tylenol. Eat toast. Drink diet super chill. Go back to bed. Later: Go see my niece Ellie-Belle do fabulous gymnastic type things.
December 13th:Rowan’s Sunday School Christmas celebration. Watch her sing Christmas carols while probably holding her dress up so every one can see her Tinkerbell under-roos. Preschool pageants are the best.
December 14-23: Hey idiot! I hear there’s a holiday coming up! Perhaps you should get some shopping done. And maybe take your kids to see Santa. And make some cookies or ginger bread houses. And order/address/stamp/mail your holiday cards. And probably 400 other things I am forgetting/in denial about right now.
December 24th: Bill’s parents for brunch. 3:30, mass. 5:30, put in appearance at Bill’s extended family function. Come home, snuggle kids in cozy Christmas jamas, open a few presents, put out milk, cookies and carrots for Santa and his team and nestle the little sugarplums in for the night. Listen to Santa swear as he spends 2-3 hours assembling an over-sized doll house and train table. Eat the cookies. Give Bill the carrots. Collapse in heap of good cheer.
December 25th: SANTA CLAUSE! OMFG! Keaton will enjoy the box that the train set came in while his parents play with the actual train. Bill’s fabulous Christmas omelets and mimosas will be consumed. Spend the day with my side of the family in a haze of good food and over-stimulated children. Love every minute of it.
December 26th: NOTHING. AM DOING NOTHING THIS DAY. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.
December 27th: Extended family Christmas party at my aunts.
December 28th: Dinner and darts with my ever-fabulous cousin and fellow ’80 baby, Erica, who will promise (in blood) to come back home from Seattle for good at some point in 2010 or she will be disowned by yours truly.
December 29th: Bill’s brother’s birthday. Dinner? maybe? who knows?
December 30th: Crap what’s everybody doing for New Year’s. Someone invite us over, please!
December 31st: I may be going out on a limb here but I’m guessing I will probably be hanging out with my fancy french friend, CHAMPANYA.
Hope everyone has a busy but productive December and that we all manage to find the joy and magic of the season, even through repeated assaults of that very terrible version of The Boss’ Santa Clause is Coming to Town. I will of course try to maintain a regular posting schedule, so come see how bad I can butcher this to-do list!