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Archive for April 23rd, 2010

On this fateful day 40 years ago, a guardian angel strolled into the office to get his next assignment. The poor, unsuspecting sucker drew the case file of  a seemingly harmless 4 and a half pound infant boy born to adoring parents at the dawn of the 70’s and he’s been sweating bullets ever since.

This guy, I assure you, is the hardest working GA out there. Go ahead and ask him about the time his assignment hurled himself off a 60 foot cliff. Or the time a car t-boned him and he walked away with barely a scratch. Or the 3,645 close calls with numerous law enforcement in his youth, all for offences such as drinking beer on top of the public library or spray painting cop cars and let’s not even go into all the fireworks stories and how amazing it is that John still has use of not only both his thumbs but all of his fingers.

Last February, the poor Angel tried to take a coffee break while John was in Las Vegas. Not a smart move.

Eeeeewwwwww. This is what happens when you try to catch a cab in Vegas and you catch a curb instead. With your face.

My memories of my brother from my youth are fuzzy at best, due to the fact that he moved out of the house before I turned nine, but I can attest that he gave the best shoulder rides on planet earth- throwing me up on his shoulders, taking my hands in his and revving the engine vroom, vroom, shouting ATV 3-WHEELER! and then off like a shot through our house with my mom screaming behind him, praying that I wouldn’t be beheaded by the top of a low door frame.

My brother is your hyper-typical thrill seeking, risk taking boy. Let’s just say my mom loves him dearly but thanks the Lord every night he was her only boy. I would hope that in celebration of 40 years of hard, diligent work John would give the poor guardian angel a day off, but I’m going to guess not.

Happy 40, John!

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On this fateful day 40 years ago, a guardian angel strolled into the office to get his next assignment. The poor, unsuspecting sucker drew the case file of  a seemingly harmless 4 and a half pound infant boy born to adoring parents at the dawn of the 70’s and he’s been sweating bullets ever since.

This guy, I assure you, is the hardest working GA out there. Go ahead and ask him about the time his assignment hurled himself off a 60 foot cliff. Or the time a car t-boned him and he walked away with barely a scratch. Or the 3,645 close calls with numerous law enforcement in his youth, all for offences such as drinking beer on top of the public library or spray painting cop cars and let’s not even go into all the fireworks stories and how amazing it is that John still has use of not only both his thumbs but all of his fingers.

Last February, the poor Angel tried to take a coffee break while John was in Las Vegas. Not a smart move.

Eeeeewwwwww. This is what happens when you try to catch a cab in Vegas and you catch a curb instead. With your face.

My memories of my brother from my youth are fuzzy at best, due to the fact that he moved out of the house before I turned nine, but I can attest that he gave the best shoulder rides on planet earth- throwing me up on his shoulders, taking my hands in his and revving the engine vroom, vroom, shouting ATV 3-WHEELER! and then off like a shot through our house with my mom screaming behind him, praying that I wouldn’t be beheaded by the top of a low door frame.

My brother is your hyper-typical thrill seeking, risk taking boy. Let’s just say my mom loves him dearly but thanks the Lord every night he was her only boy. I would hope that in celebration of 40 years of hard, diligent work John would give the poor guardian angel a day off, but I’m going to guess not.

Happy 40, John!

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