Hiya! So you want to learn about me, huh? Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
I was born at the dawn of the gloriously neon 1980s.
My parents didn’t believe in neon, however, they were happily stuck in the folksy part of the 70’s.
As a result, I didn’t get to put hairspray in my hair, which led to my banishment from the cool kids in elementary school. Loop braids with long bangs will do that to even the best of us. You’d think there would have been hope considering this was a catholic school, but no. My hair was THAT bad.
I spent my youth playing 1st base (the large crack in the concrete of Mrs. Ehret’s driveway), building snow forts, watching Wizard of Oz and Golden Girls, woefully practicing piano, happily practicing flute, playing/fighting with my younger sister, reading Babysitter’s Club and Christopher Pike books, listening to Abba and Simon & Garfunkel, dancing (terribly), and cultivating my love for writing which I sometimes did up in a tree.
We moved to ruralish suburbia just before I turned 12. I was displeased that my parents didn’t consult me over this and decided to make their lives harder through whining and general surliness.
To shut me up, my mom let me use hairspray. Too bad the 90’s threw hairspray out on it’s sticky sticky ass.
Nevertheless, I fared much better at this new catholic school and had more friends after the first day then I did during the entirety of my previous school years. I had a boyfriend by the end of day two. We broke up before the two week mark, but don’t worry- it was amicable. We went on to form a back-of-the-bus Billy Joel cover band. A few days later I had a brand new shiny boyfriend that I kept for a few months before breaking up with him because he wanted to french kiss me. It gets a little fuzzy after that- needless to say my friends and I traded boyfriends a lot and the love triangles played out something like a bad G-rated soap opera.
I was released into the evils of the public high school system in 9th grade.
In a completely unrelated topic, I started drinking and stealing my older sisters cigarettes in 9th grade.
High school was a little fun, a little painful. I was at the giving and receiving end of friendships, general naughtiness, infatuations, love and that certain kind of cruelty only a teen-aged girl knows how to do best. I like to think high school just cancels itself out but that may be wishful thinking (which I just so happen to be really good at).
I went to a state college where over a 4 month period I was sober approximately 16 days. I wish I could say it was fun but I honestly don’t remember too much of it.
I started dating my lovely future husband the 2nd semester of freshman year and decided that actually showing up for class was a necessary thing if I wanted to, you know- graduate with a degree or something.
I transferred to a private college in the cities my 3rd year and graduated in December 2003.
Also in December 2003? My dad died. That was shitty. I miss the old goat.
I secured Bill in for a lifetime of love and unmitigated nagging June 19th, 2004. I was 23 and NO I was not knocked up.
December 2004- Hey! I just got knocked up. Five year plan is out the window and any kind of food stuff is in the toilet.
The first half of 2005 was spent throwing up and moaning a lot.
The second half was spent becoming a mother to an amazing little gal we named Rowan Josephine.
In September of 2006 I went part time at my job and was done entirely in February 2007 to start my adventure at being a stay at home mom. (No, I was not knocked up).
March 2007- Hey! I just got knocked up again. What do you know. Again with the puking and moaning.
December 2007 brought us our wonderful Keaton Garold and with him he brought many months of screaming.
With most of the screaming behind us I will attempt to document the life we’ve created and hope I do justice to my little family.