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Posts Tagged ‘Erica!’

Over the course of the two years I’ve been blogging most of my posts have been about documenting our life together as a young family. Some have distinct purposes, like how I came to have holes/scars in my knockers, how I became an obnoxious liberal, or why religion is really confusing for me. Some have no purpose, other than to shamelessly show off my {BIAS MOTHER ALERT} beautiful and charming children who will one day take over the planet. And some of these posts are just a thinly veiled space for me to show off how many swear words I know. .

This post though, has a different, very important purpose. This post, and future ones like it, are absolutely vital; they could quite possibly mean the difference between life and death…happiness and despair…fillet mignon and blenderized meatloaf with a side of lemon jello. In other words, you can go ahead and skip this one because it is devised solely to show to my children in 40 or so years when they’re trying to put us in a home. You may laugh now, Internet, but one day it is I who will be laughing at YOU from my shaded poolside cabana at Chateau D’Awesometown~ Center for the Wise and Mature while you all are sitting at the Wrinkly Butt Nursing Home~ Center for Dummies Who Didn’t Carefully Craft A Blog To Guilt Their Offspring Into Sending Them To Geriatric Paradise.

Now then! Last week was our school district’s spring break and since we spent the entirety of the winter in a sickened stupor and didn’t take the kids anywhere but the damn pharmacy and doctor’s office, we decided we were going to do this week up right and inject some fun into life again. We had a master list of about 10 different activities to choose from; everything from a hotel/waterpark to bumper bowling to a giant indoor trampoline park. In the end we only did a few of them but trust me, that was enough to send their little brains into fun overdrive. Here’s how the week played out…

Friday the 11th: We had my cousin Erica over for dinner. Now this doesn’t seem like something super fun for the kids but we almost never have guesta over so they get SUPER excited when we get visitor, even if they only get to spend a half an hour or so hanging out with her before their bedtime and grown-up winetime.

Saturday the 12th: Bill went snowboarding with his brother and the DCFI and afterward we went to the Mallinger’s for a quiet dinner and playtime for the kids. They had us over as a thank you to Bill for helping out with the decorations and music to Jay’s party. What’s that? Oh! Funny you should ask- no, the Dep’s did NOT have a beer with dinner. He’s still getting over his hangover from THIS little escapade.

Sunday the 13th: It was my niece Ellie’s spring break as well so we had her over for a sleepover Sunday night. Rowan always does such a good job of sharing “her” friends with her brother, including him in their games and never minding if he plays with them or nearby. That night Bill and I both noted what a great big sister she is and how lucky we are that our kids get along so well most of the time.

Monday the 14th: All tolerance for younger sibling gone. We broke the rule, Internet. You know, the one that states if you note something positive out loud, that that something will most surely turn to shit within 24 hours. Oh, well. Ellie stayed over all day and since it was spring break we just went ahead and broke all the rules and I served popcorn, licorice and strawberry pop for a morning snack. Hmm…guess I should stop wondering why they all turned into rabid, sugar-highed maniacs after that, huh?

Tuesday the 15th: BUNK BEDS!

Wednesday the 16th: Rowan had her last OT appointment! Well, maybe not her last ever but we decided to take the next 6 weeks off to see how she does, as she’s been doing really great lately, and we’ll reassess after that. I need to write a whole post on this but for now it should be duly noted in the old folks’ home decision making process {lovely, smart, beautiful, daughter} that WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU! {!!!!!!}

After OT, the three of us went to the library and had a great time picking out books on space, fossils, mammals and insects. Up until very recently I avoided the library at all costs, as I didn’t exactly relish the thought of chasing my toddler around- the very same toddler that has no idea how to control the volume on his voice. Like, at all. But it must be acknowledged that Keaton is not a toddler anymore, but a preschooler and he is finally at the age where he can be somewhat accountable for himself, be respectful of others and I can even turn my back now and browse the kids’ DVDs for a few minutes without worrying too much if he will be climbing the pillar to try to ride the ceiling fan.

Thursday the 17th: This is when the real fun began. Bill took off this and the next day so we packed it full. We were originally planning to go to the Children’s Museum but Rowan’s good friend at school talked about going to the Science Museum to see the King Tut exhibit so of course that’s what she lobbied for us to do and since we are suckers we agreed. I was nervous because from what I remembered, the Science Museum of Minnesota was geared toward older kids and these kids are used to being able to touch everything at the children’s museum and Keaton kept asking if there were rides there but didn’t seem to get it when we repeatedly explained what it was.

It also happened to be St. Patrick’s Day which is somewhat of a big deal in St. Paul, where the museum is located, but we figured we would be safe from the drunken idiots once we made it inside the museum since they don’t serve alcohol in there. And it actually turned out great, because there was a parade and lots of festivities for the Irish celebrating folk elsewhere so the museum was relatively quiet, which is good for someone like me whose own personal hell would include being stuck in a giant crowd while having to make hair/eye/vet appointments over the phone all day.

Overall? the kids did awesome. My nerves hit again when the guide told us very firmly that there was no food or drink allowed in any of the TWELVE exhibit rooms. There is also no bathroom so HA, parents of young children ye are screwed. I don’t know how we did it but we were in there an hour and a half with no incident. The exhibit was beautiful. The detail of the statues, crowns, jewelry and hieroglyphics was breathtaking. Rowan was very interested and inquisitive for about the first half. I don’t know if it was the low-lighting, hypnotic music, or what but she got really tired after that and laid down in Keaton’s stroller, perking up when we wanted to show her something. Keaton was thoroughly UNimpressed by Mr. Tutankhamun and all his statues, gold and crowns. I mean, COME ON, this guy was a fricken emperor and he didn’t even have a CAR? Is life even worth living without cars? Decidedly no. Thankfully though, he still did a good job of being patient and acting mildly interested when we pointed out a carving or artifact he might like, and he DID get kind of excited about the ancient toilet seat on display. Boring king or not, toilet seats are just good material, people. Bill and I would have liked more time there to be able to soak it all in and read about each piece but we’re not complaining.

We weren’t aloud to take picture of the Tut exhibit but I did get some of the rest of our museum visit.

"Hello? CPS? You will NOT believe what my parents are doing to me...they made me look at a real live dead guy! I mean, they called him a mummy but a spade's a spade, you know what I mean?"

I'll give you one guess which one of these people got most excited about the dino fossils. {I'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with I'mgoingtocorrectyoueverrytimeyoutryandpronouceadinosauername-ill.}

I was nervous that Keaton would be bored with the rest of the museum as well but he was rapt. I tell you that boy has got a sixth sense when it comes to cars...

He just sniffs them out.

It was really interesting to see the difference between the two kids. I guess I’ve always known this but it was just so blatantly obvious on this day that Rowan likes to find something she really likes and settle in for a long period, while Keaton bounces around, excited to try everything he can get his hands on.

Rowan quickly settled down in her element, surrounded by an army of dinosaurs to do her bidding.

While this guy {and the other guy} got excited jumping from fossil to magnifying glass to microscope.

We had a really, really good time.

After the museum we planned to drive around and look at houses in the city while we let the kids rest in the car only they were too keyed up and would not settle down so we ended up getting frustrated and headed back out to suburbia where we stopped to get a car wash. My in-laws had taken the kids through one once and I guess it didn’t go over so well with Keaton and when he saw we were pulling into the stall he nervously proclaimed while eyeing which window would be the best to throw himself out of, that “I do not like dat car washer!”  I let him come up and sit on my lap and after the initial spray down he relaxed and even enjoyed it when the soap came out in a rainbow of colors and smelled like fruit. It helped that this particular wash didn’t have the giant rollers or tentacle-like scrubbers. Are those a thing of the past? I LOVED that when I was a kid. It felt like I was inside a Muppet or something.

Next we went to see Rango and all I will say about that is that I am a dumbass who didn’t actually check the listing. I saw an animated movie and thought, eh- they’ll like that, only this was PG and not at ALL for the under 8 set. Thankfully most of it went over their heads {and hell! They’re already so used to hearing damn and hell at home, it didn’t even register with them at all!} but still. Not super appropriate. Parenting fail, but certainly not the worst one I’ll make so I’m not too worried.

Friday the 18th: We had made plans to go bumper bowling this day but these guys were S-P-E-N-T from the day before. My mom spent the better part of this month in California and the kids missed their grammy so we headed over and spent the afternoon with her and her very tanned arms. Jerk! {And I mean that in the most loving way.}

Saturday the 19th: After Rowan’s dance class we headed to the hotel and waterpark. We took the kids there last June and we all had such an awesome time. We figured it would be a lot more crowded over spring break and we were right. They didn’t even have our room ready when we got there but instead gave us a $5.00 concession coupon and told us to go to the pool area which, yeah, not that big of a deal- but we had all of our bags with us and two kids who were more than ready to be in the water and everything in there was sopping wet and OHMYGOD so many screaming children. Thankfully only twenty minutes later we were in our room settling in and even though the pool area was a little nuts this time around, the kids had a complete and utter blast. Plus HOT TUB. Ahhhh.

Waterpark!!!!!

They spent a lot of time playing a complex game called Run Away From Your Brother!, which oddly enough involved running away from your brother. And also a lot of giggling.

Awhile back a couple of people wondered if Rowan's eyes are really this blue so I included this picture to illustrate my point, which is yes and no. She does have really bright, light blue eyes {Thanks, Grandpa Garry!} but they only pop like this in certain light. Mostly it happens in natural light with the sun behind her but with all the blues from the water, and the fact that the ceiling is painted a purplish blue with ambient star lighting- well it made the conditions ripe for her eyes to shine.

These guys were in heaven.

We let them play before dinner, then we took them to Red Lobster {Rowan’s favorite. The girl can’t be talked into a dang turkey sandwich but she will devour an entire plate of popcorn shrimp, then steal bites of your lobster, crab, and shrimp scampi} where there was an insane wait. The kids did really great, helped along by an understanding hostess who came over twice to take out a lobster for them to pet. After dinner we let them play at the waterpark til nine and then we snuggled in for Sleeping Beauty, and they didn’t get to sleep until way after eleven. Oops.

Sunday March 20th: After a room service breakfast we headed down for one last playtime in the water and then packed it in and headed home around eleven and WOW aren’t we done yet? Um no. Our nephew Joey and goddaughter Mia had a joint birthday party starting at two so we raced to get the kids home and get the chlorine scrubbed off of them and got ready to go to the party. I do NOT sleep well in hotels so I was running on maybe three hours of sleep but it was worth it to see this little gal enjoy her very first birthday…

I'm One! And sort of unsure about these cousin people.

Mia's very own cake!

Which, needless to say, was thoroughly enjoyed. Happy One, Miss Mia!

And then? We came home, let the kids watch a movie, got everything set for the shift back to reality and then blissfully climbed into our own bed. The week was crazy busy, but fun and if this doesn’t secure us a spot at Chateau D’Awesometown, I seriously think we might be screwed.

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Last night Erica and her boyfriend Ian came over for a grown-ups only dinner. The kids love when “Cousin Erica!” comes to visit so I promised them they could stay up long enough to show her their jammies and give her a hug goodnight. Which they did, but only after each performed a dance solo for them, and then as I was ushering the buggers up the stairs my mom called with this question pertaining to her computer: “How do I turn it on?!” I was in the middle of explaining that there was this round thing called a power button in the back corner when Keaton, who was attempting to climb into his bed, did a magnificent miscalculation of hand placement on the bed rail and instead smashed his face forcefully and directly into it.

He’s not really one to freak out when he gets hurt, definitely falling on the typical boy OUCH THAT WAS FUNNY IMMA DO IT AGAIN side of things but this time he immediately started crying and when I pulled his fingers from his mouth blood literally shot out all over my shirt. I’m not squeamish around blood, but when it is pouring from your two-year-old’s face it’s sort of hard to remain calm. Bill was downstairs cooking and entertaining our guests and apparently didn’t hear my pleas of OMG!BILL!BLOOOOOOOOOOD%$#^&! Poor Keaton thought I was mad at him and started to whimper “I sorry I got blood on your shirt, mama” over and over again. It was the saddest, most pathetically cute thing he has ever uttered.

I had to keep repositioning the washcloth I was pressing over his lips because the blood was soaking through it so fast and when I had to wring it out, blood poured all down the front of him and all over the counter. By assessing the amount of blood I was sure both his lips had been ripped off but after things finally slowed down I could see it was just his bottom lip that had split wide open. I finally had the good sense to send Rowan to get Bill, who assessed the situation, determined everyone still had all their appendages and went to retrieve Keaton an ice pack. I read the kids a few stories while he held the ice on his lip and then had to be the one to inform him that he couldn’t have his Nuk for the night because it would make his lip bleed again. He was sad but handled it surprisingly well. Once the bleeding finally stopped I laid him down for the night.

A half hour later I went to check on him, hoping the ordeal exhausted him enough that he fell right asleep but he was up, crying softly about his ouchy lip. I gave the poor bugger some ibuprofen and a snuggle and he was quiet the rest of the night. The next morning he looked very similar to someone who had maybe been in a harmless bar brawl the night before. It actually looked way better than we thought it would.

Keaton vs. bed.

Bed wins.

Despite the bloody start, the night went well. We had fun hanging out with our friends, even when Bill and Ian insisted on watching obnoxious viral videos and the SNL skit that single-handedly RUINED John Hamm for me. Around 11:30 Erica thought they had better get going because she’d heard freezing rain was supposed to hit sometime after midnight. Bill and I went down to walk them out and upon reaching our driveway we discovered that the world had become one giant ice rink. Everything was covered with an insanely slick sheet of ice to which we quickly decided was 100 percent non-conducive with making it home alive.

So? SLUMBER PARTY! We didn’t permanent marker anyone’s face or freeze anyone’s bra…

But if we had it would have TOTALLY been Erica.

Ian had Bill and I take a rip-off of the Meyers-Brigg’s personality test {INFJ for me, ESFJ for Bill} and we talked and diagnosed one another with a multitude of personality quirks and disorders while we drank wine. A wholly different experience from my high school slumber parties where we spent most of our time devising plans for how we were going to sneak out to smoke cigarettes or sneak in our boyfriends, but a good time nonetheless. Unfortunately we don’t even have enough bedrooms for the people who currently reside in this house so at 2am we threw our guests two blankets and two pillows and had them duke out who got couch and who got floor. Pretty awesome hosts, aren’t we? Internet? You guys are welcome anytime. I hope you don’t mind blood.

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Wow. This weekend flew by. We have a ridiculously busy week coming up and Internet, I AM SCARED. We have Rowan’s dance rehearsal and recital and end of the year picnics and last class sessions and birthdays to shop for and OH MY GOD Lost will be over one week from tonight. OVER. As in, NO MORE. ALL DONE.

Bill and I have seriously considered therapy to help get us through this loss. Lost started the fall after we got married. What will we even have to talk about anymore? Will our marriage be proven a total sham, based solely on our love of a fictional TV drama?

Probably. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I don’t know how regularly I’ll be posting this week (let me give you a second or two to work through your grief….) so I’ll leave you with a few pictures of our weekend to help you get through what I’m sure will be a tough time in your life. How will you live without me? You might go through bad-grammar withdrawals! Or get the made-up-word shakes! Or more than likely not even notice at all!

Only time will tell.

So, yeah. Pictures.

To celebrate the warm weather's return on Friday, during Keaton's nap Rowan and I threw down a blanket in our sorry excuse for a front yard to read Stuart Little and look at the cloud shapes.

We of course had to bring out our pots so they could enjoy the sun and the story as well. Look! Buds! I'm unabashedly proud of these little shoots.

And look who came to town! Erica, (who, shhhhhhh TUNRED THIRTY today) is back from Washington to get some things lined up for her move home at the end of the summer, so we got to hang out with her on Saturday night.

She brought her boyfriend, Ian along so he could make fun of our Minnesotan accents.

I can't wait to have her back here. And can we all just take a minute to take note of Bill's face in the background? Nice.

Today we took a cruise down the St Croix, put on by the nursery school Keaton will be attending in the fall.

There were ice cream sundaes on the boat.

Definitely Keaton's kind of boat.

He got a tattoo to commemorate the occasion. That apple doesn't fall far from our tree.

The kids had a blast.

It was a perfect day to be at sea. Well, at river. Whatever. You know what I mean. Have a good week, Internet.

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