Within a week or so of each other, our washing machine, Bill’s car and our DVD player crapped out. YAY! I fucking love the Rule of Three, don’t you? The washing machine was a pain in the ass but ended up being an easy fix that only set us back $125, which, yeah, not great but better than having to research, pick-out, wait for delivery and pay mucho dallores for a brand spanking new one. And you know me. There would be two identical washers, one with a price of $650 and one for $400 and I would HAVE to pick the expensive one because it is OBVIOUSLY superior. It’s price tag says so. I don’t know though… I hate spending money on things I need. I much prefer to dole out hundreds of dollars for diapers that my son shits in (they’re so pretty, Internet!).
(Speaking of poopy diapers, we’ve been using cloth wipes because, well, it just makes sense to do it that way when you have a cloth diaper otherwise you have a pile of dirty disposable wipes that you have to pick off the diaper and throw away and then poop gets on your fingers {EW} and the cloth ones can just be tossed in the bin with the diapers. Makes sense. We’ve been using Bumgenius Bottom Cleaner or something similar and it works pretty well, but Keaton is, well… he’s a pooper. He poops like a million times a day (His pediatrician says this is normal. I told her she can tell me it’s normal when SHE has to change poopy diapers all day. She said, “Yeah, I have one year old twins”. And then I shut my mouth.) Anyway we were going through the spray pretty fast and it was kind of a pain so when I saw a solution you mix with water to make cloth wipes wet and work like disposables, little heart bubbles popped out of my head and I just knew this product and I were meant to live a long and happy life together. Only Keaton’s butt got in the way of our love affair by turning BRIGHT ASS RED when I used it. FROWNY FACE. Maybe I just need to dilute it more? Or perhaps I’m in denial? I don’t remember what the point of this really long parentheses was anymore so here- let me end it for you.)
Where were we!
Ah, yes. The car. So on Thursday we fixed the washing machine and on Friday Bill’s car broke down 2 blocks from the Children’s Museum, where the kids and I were waiting for him. Bill commutes to Minneapolis for work which on a good day takes 40-ish minutes and on a bad day takes two hours. He drives a ’98 Mercury Tracer because it gets great gas mileage and was practically free and he got to name it something really obnoxious, which I can’t even remember right now…something about green lightning, maybe? Whatever. Giving stupid names to things makes this guy super happy and if you ever ask him what kind of car he drives he will always be sure to let you know this particular model is a “sport” making it all kinds of fancy. And it has a spoiler. So.
The Green Lightening Sport of Spoilerness broke down in the middle of downtown St. Paul. It stalled out while he was at a stoplight and wouldn’t turn back on and Bill is all “Wahhhht?” and two homeless men come bounding out of nowhere and pushed the car two blocks to a place where Bill could leave it until the tow came. Funny how people can surprise you after you think you’ve got them all figured out. I mean, based on what Bill was driving they probably deduced he wouldn’t be able to offer them crisp one hundred dollar bills for their help but they did it anyway, and it was so kind and when you constantly feel like the human race is [PESSIMIST ALERT] rapidly deteriorating, moments like these give you (read: me) hope.
We had it towed to a mechanic that Bill’s dad has used for years and highly recommended. When we received the call that it was the timing belt, a $35.00 part, we were relieved. That is, until they told us that with time and labor the estimated cost would be $1,600.00. It’s the location of the belt, they explained, that inflated the cost so high. Very time intensive stuff.
For one? The car is not WORTH $1600. For two? REALLY? $1600? I do not buy it. We are so damn lucky that Bill’s dad is good with cars because he told us he’d give it a try and 3-4 hours later he had fixed it for under $150. Now I understand the mechanic has to earn a living wage but when an amateur can do the fix in a few hours for a FRACTION of the cost I think that $1600 price tag is a SMIDGEN high.
Then our DVD player broke. This is not the end of the world as Bill and I refuse to spend large sums of money on electronics because we are holding out for the glorious day when we can get Apple TV. This day is far off in the future so to bide our time we buy these crappy $40.00 DVD players at target that need to be replaced at least every other year. It just so happened it broke right after these two other things crapped out and CAN WE BE DONE NOW, UNIVERSE? Instead of purchasing a new one we dug out our old DVD/VCR combo which is an absolute behemoth and in no way respectably fits by our TV but EH. Apple TV 2015, here we come! We can make it a few more years, right?
What else can I tell you!
I was feeling a little down one night last week so I challenged Rowan to a game of Wii bowling because, well, winning makes me feel better even if it is against a 30 pound preschooler. What can I say? Am scruple free! Then you know what happened? SHE BEAT ME. Her own mother. The kid picked up one pin spares like it was nobody’s bidness! I was too impressed to be a sore loser. I mean, it was only the second time she played and I can TOTALLY take credit for that shit. I, Christina Jo Gunter, bred a Wii bowling prodigy. If I ever feel I’ve failed as a mother, I need look no further than this.
Her technique was truly impressive. Never allowing to be told how to do something, Rowan came up with her own way of winding up and releasing the ball and I'm not too proud to say that I attempted her way after she trounced me. It didn't work. Must be a low-center-of-gravity thing. Or I just suck.
Aaaaand, here she is shaking her butt at me. I would get mad but that whole sore winner thing comes straight from my genetic code so I could do nothing but watch.
In Keaton news, his interest in the potty bounced back this week. Every morning I ask if he wants to wear big boy unders or a diaper, not pressuring him and respecting whatever choice he makes. Every day this week he chose the underoos and has peed in the potty pretty consistently. He has also pooped on my floor pretty consistently, but let’s not nit-pick when progress is being made. He gets so so excited when he pees, still preferring to use the big potty as opposed to the little one and when he tries but can’t go he chirps, “But it was a good try though, CAN I HAVE A STICKER? OR A LITTLE TREAT, MAYBE?!” And I have to dash his hopes because if I’ve learned anything from this child it is that he will exploit every kindness I grant him.
TA-DA! See these underwear?
They are my ticket to the spoils of the treat jar.
Surprised and unprepared by his revived potty interest, I was completely unprepared as far as rewards go. I had a few potty stickers to hand out but where I would maybe give an M&M or two for a job well done, all I had in the house were big suckers and taffy. He’s not going to be pleased with reality when I finally make it to Target and his rewards get grossly downsized.
And…I think that’s it! I am now impatiently awaiting my niece to come out of the cooker (AKA: my sister) so I can snuggle her and spoil her and sniff her wee little baby head and then give her back when she cries. The last two babies in the family have been mine, the baby before being Ellie, who is now a giant 7 and a half year old and she came along before I really appreciated just how sweet it is to hand a crying miracle of life back to it’s mother for her to deal with. So, yes, I’m very excited to get to be an auntie again.
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