Posts Tagged ‘Waaaaahhhhhh’

For me, each kid in my family has an age that I identify them with. An age that for whatever reason, gets stuck in my brain. For Keaton that age is 3-4ish so to wake up this morning and find him a whole SEVEN years old is really messing with my brain’s construct of what my world should look like. I honestly have no clue how we got here. How did that sweet, funny, pigtail-sporting, tutu-wearing, booty-shaking toddler morph into this hard-working, sword-wielding, ninja-rolling, BOY?

To quote one of his favorite movies: Inconceivable.

Keaton is no one thing. He is not a kid that you can put in a box. He loves swords and rough-housing, and nail-polish and his stuffed Crookshanks. He’ll happily watch a Barbie movie or Star Wars. He is sensitive and kind. He is mischievous and a fairly adept liar.

He is joy. He is love. He is ours and we love him so very much.

Happy Seven, Keaton Sir!!

IMG_8575 IMG_8684 IMG_8639


Read Full Post »

A long time ago I made a wish…


r93 r92 r91 d3 d2 d1


I wished for you, and you came true.

Happy Ninth Birthday to our girl. We love you with all of our hearts, Rowan J.


Read Full Post »

Listen. I know, Flashing Cursor. I realize I’ve been MIA from this blog for months. I am aware I used to take great pleasure in writing about all the ways my children outsmart me on a daily basis. All the ways they made me feel so loved and then so completely useless and then wait, nope, there’s the love again~ often in one breath. After briefly considering canceling my hosting when it came up for renewal a month ago, I decided I would give it another year and see what I had left in me for this space. I really don’t know. But for now, I am here and I promise not to make any promises about how often I’ll check in, because that seems to just guarantee I’ll never write again.

So this is what I can tell you now… In less than 2 hours, my two giant children will join the household for the summer. This is maybe a little scary and maybe a little awesome. I like having all my chicks with me for the most part. I love lazy days, jammies til noon, lunch when…ever, beach and park trips, art supplies strewn about the table and intricate figurine set-ups taking over my gardens. It makes me smile, it makes me sigh. It makes me miss being a kid.

Like all parents, I don’t enjoy the whining, tattling or the incessant arguing but unfortunately, it comes with the territory of multiple kids. We’ll get through, I know, but I definitely don’t have to be excited about it. Mostly I am nervous about Rowan’s insane dance schedule over the next two weeks. She has summer dance and nationals practice that leaves her at the studio from 10:45- 5:30 or later most nights. Then I have to kiss my little guy’s sweet cheeks enough to last me 9 whole days without him while we’re in Florida. {Clearly I did NOT think this through. I’m already panicking and searching for plane tickets for him, shhhhh don’t tell Bill. He’ll think it’s funny when Ez shows up in my carry-on, right?} The longest I’ve been away from Ezra is overnight. I’m legit freaking out right now.

But! If we can make it through June, and the first 4 days of July, we’ll be in the clear to laze around and enjoy Summer at our new house. It seems amazing to me that I didn’t write about such a huge life change when I have multiple {really, like DOZENS} of posts devoted to poop on this blog. I wish I could detail the simultaneously dawn-out saga/whirlwind this whole process has been, but the most important thing to know is that we are all so very, extremely happy to be in a beautiful new home that is just the perfect fit for us. Hopefully more on that to come {if I can get my shit together, so again, no promises}.

For now, I will leave you with these two…

Who completely OWNED 2nd grade and Kindergarten.. with nary a yellow or red light between the two for an ENTIRE year, like WHOA.

Who completely OWNED 2nd grade and Kindergarten, with nary a yellow or red light between the two for an ENTIRE year, like WHOA. So proud of them!

And these two, who melt my heart, pretty much on a daily basis…

I think lucky is the word I'm looking for. Yep.

I think lucky is the word I’m looking for. Yep.

Read Full Post »

Before I dive into Ezra’s monthly blah blah I just want to describe to you the moment I just had… My blood started pumping so hard it filled my head, my palms became clammy and my hands started shaking. My chest went tight and I felt like I could feel every single hair on my entire body as I tried to catch my breath. Slowly I attempted to regulate my breathing as I clutched my pounding head in my hands, the only thought swirling around in there… my god. I’m going to have a highly mobile, non-verbal 13 month old and a Christmas tree in my house at the same time for 5 weeks.


Which I’m actually quite thankful for because death is a far easier thing to deal with than a baby, that I just know will figure out how to scale the gate I will inevitably have to put up, whose main goal in life will be to take that tree OUT. He will maim the branches. Pull off the needles and eat them. He will get too close, poke his eye and then cry like it was the tree’s fault. Then he will get mad and try to hit the tree but when that won’t prove satisfying he will try to push it and when he realizes the branches just spring back, only to hit him in the face again, he will charge that sucker in a fit of horrifying toddler rage and knock it over. Or he might just look at it suspiciously, like what’s this giant pokey green thing doing in my house and then largely ignore it. I’m betting on option one though and wow, I am feeling all of the fear now, just ALL OF IT.

Alright, time to reanimate so I can throw some bullet points up about mini-budders month of twelve, stepping away from the inviting, warm, glowing orb of light in 3…2…1…


This month in Ezra!

* The biggest change for our guy was the room swap which I think he’s adjusting to fairly well. Unfortunately we did this at sort of a crappy time for him developmentally as he was definitely starting a sleep regression, getting ready to drop a nap and cutting his molars. It was either now or after Christmas though and I really just wanted to get the whole mess out of the way before the holidays. He’s had a few rough nights but it hasn’t seemed to impact the older two at all and most times the wake-ups can be resolved with a simple re-corking of the nuk.


*naps. Ah, naps, BANE of my existence. Since he was nine months old, Ezra has been insistent on napping right at 9:30am after a 6:15 wake up. Since he is so spotty on whether he’ll then follow that early morning nap with a late afternoon nap, I have been trying since September to push back the morning nap. This would give him a more balanced spread of awake time~ that 7 hour stretch of no nap is very rough on all of us. He would NOT have it though. If I tried to push the nap back any more than 20 minutes he would lose his ever-loving mind, and then when he would fall asleep he’d only go down for 45 minutes instead of his regular 2-2.5 hour rest and then still refuse the afternoon nap. Forty-five minutes of sleep during a 13 hour stretch for an infant is not a sustainable schedule. Of course now this week, that of the holiday in which I need him to sleep in the morning otherwise wreak havoc all over our Thanksgiving plans, is the time he chooses to skip the morning nap in favor of reaching over and banging the wood blinds against the window frame and giggling maniacally for 40 minutes until I finally give up and pull him out. He of course went down smoothly at 12:30pm, exactly the time we need to be out of the house and on our way to a day of family stuffs. GAH, this is stressing me out.


* Teeth! After getting 8 teeth between 6.5 and 9 months we had a blessed break until last weekend. He came home from his grandparents’ house with a fever of about 100 and a runny nose which sent me into a panic because of the upcoming holiday and the fact that he had just gotten over a stupid cold that lasted over two weeks. He woke up a number of times that night, needing tylenol, a cuddle and a nuk but by the morning the fever had vanished and in its place I felt the corner of a branny-new molar poking through. UGHUGHUGHUGHUGH. As you may recall, molars are my least favorite things about toddlers. It’s gonna be a fun few months.


{*This photo series brought to you by dumdums, aka: the only way to get a baby to sit still for more than three seconds.}

* Food. Everything gives him a damn rash around his lips. EVERYTHAAAAAANG. We have to put petroleum jelly around his mouth before and after every meal and even then he still gets red and irritated. Before nap and bed times he also gets either a prescription strength hydrocortisone or a combo of lotrimin, neosporin and regular hydrocortisone, which may lessen the redness and irritation briefly but it certainly hasn’t helped to heal it.

We can’t figure out one thing as the cause. He reacts to carrots, citrus and tomato, it definitely gets worse when he is teething and really really bad when he has any dairy. Do you know what toddlers live off of? Whole milk. That makes this whole “keeping the kid alive thing” a little trickier. As if one child with a dairy problem wasn’t enough, now we have a second. I just don’t get it. Bill and I ate ALL THE THINGS when we were little and neither had any food sensitivities or allergies. We exposed all our kids to a variety of foods at appropriate times to minimize the chances and Rowan, my picky child, remains completely food allergy free. The boys would eat anything but can’t and it is maddening too have to pay over seven freaking dollars for a package of dairy-free cookies or snacks. This week his mouth flared up so bad he looked like The Joker, so I finally broke down and am committing to a month of dairy free for him, let the vanilla flavored coconut milk commence. He does still breastfeed twice daily. I was able to drop the before-bed feeding with no problem for him or myself. His need for a morning and afternoon feeding is still pretty strong so I’ll just be following his cues on when he wants to wean from that.


* Ezra has gone from new drunk baby walk to stealthy, speedy drunk baby walk. He still stumbles at times but he can go FAST, and now rarely, if ever, breaks out into a crawl. {RIP cute and creepy baby franken-crawl, I will miss you.} Now that walking is fairly mastered he has started to move on to climbing. Lord help me, Internet.


* Language. Welp. Not much progress was made this month. He makes a vaguely familiar sound when he’s trying to say a word, like “guk” for his rubber duck, “sss sssk” for sock and other similar things but he still doesn’t say anything discernible. The exception being thank you which is a relatively easier to understand “tink ye” as he hands you toy after toy. No intentional ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ or ‘more’ or ‘uppy’ even though we repeat the words and use the baby signs all day long. Listen kid, I think it’s highly adorable you’re trying so hard to say the name of your ducky but maybe let’s focus on something more practical like “up” so you can stop trying to wedge your body between me and whatever I’m standing next to so that you can hang off my shirt and scream. Forming a u and a p sounds with your mouth seems so much easier than these shenanigans.

His sound effects repertoire has become very impressive though and his receptive language and ability to follow instructions continues to grow every day. He is also starting to point much more than he was last month so I’m holding out hope this doesn’t turn into a ‘thing’. {And I know there are tons of you out there with kids that didn’t make a peep until 18 months or later but when your other two kids were absolute motor-mouths at this age… well, the difference is huge and worth paying attention to.}


To sum up, at 12 months Ezra loved: Meowing, walking, dance parties with his siblings, brushing his teeth, baths, snuggling blanky, eating cake, going to the playground, raiding the cupboards, sneaking into the bathroom to inspect the wastebasket and remove anything he didn’t think should be thrown away {i.e dirty kleenex} and removing and hiding his socks. {Where are all the damn socks baby? No, seriously, you only have one and a half pairs left.}


This month has been one of your most adventurous ones yet. It’s been SO fun to watch you explore the world on two feet. One of my favorite things to do this month was to bundle you up, set you on the sidewalk and just let you go. Seeing your little body bob up and down as you carefully lifted your feet in a kind of slow-paced, very deliberate march, filled my heart up to the very top. You are so happy outside {in the wild. Yep, this is total foreshadowing of your personality isn’t it?} that I’m a little frightened of being trapped indoors with you for the next 5-6 months. We’ll get through though {if the Christmas tree doesn’t kill mommy} {again} and I can’t wait to see you racing up and down those sidewalks come spring. We love you, pal.


Read Full Post »

This is how I spent my day internet…


That’s right. With the Monster Closet of Death. Oh God. It is just a wall of eight years’ worth of LIFE. I’m pretty sure I swore I’d never let it get this bad again but you know what happens when you create another miraculous human life? You also accumulate miraculous amounts of shi- I mean stuff. Lots of shitty stuff. Oh crap, I think I was trying to avoid cursing there. Oh well. So you know that moment when you finally clear out the closet but then all of its contents are spread out in gigantic piles all around your house and all you want to do is cry and move far far away from it all? Yeah. That’s what I was feeling here:


…Punctuated nicely by my second born, who kept creeping ever-so-quietly behind piles of junk, jumping up and shouting BOOOOOOO at the top of his very high-functioning lungs. I briefly threatened to look up orphanages in the phone book but then he said “What’s a phone book?” and I lost my will to threaten him further, for the laughing and the wonder at how much different life is for these small people. After MUCH to-do and a little help from Radio-Lab, This American Life and two Bloody Mary’s, I finished…


I know that all said and done it doesn’t look that impressive but trust me on this one. This is a closet that slopes downward under our entryway stairs. It is neither wide nor long enough but it happens to be the ONLY storage space for a family five we have in this entire house. I want you people with basements, extra rooms and/or storage closets full of shit to close your eyes and imagine putting all of that in one tiny, angled walk-in closet. It is the ultimate game of tetris, especially when you have to pull out your seasonal things every 2-3 months and if that seasonal item has migrated to the back GAME OVER CHRISTMAS IS RUINED, ALSO YOUR LIFE.

Balance in the force of the entryway was also restored and we are now semi-ready to put up Christmas decorations next Friday and host our family for Keaton’s 6th birthday..


Well, I’d write more but I need to go get really drunk* so I can effectively rid this day from my memory. I hope you understand, Internet.

*And by “get really drunk” I mean, have a glass a wine and fall asleep on the couch. This is what drunk is to old people.

Read Full Post »

1. I just ate a giant burrito and my brain has officially turned to mush as my whole body is focused on digesting it. The mushy brain was for a good cause though since today the local Chipotle gave half the proceeds of purchases to Rowan’s dance studio {which is moving in January to a new, non-creepy-70s-strip-mall location} and needs help raising funds for dance floors, which are ridiculously spendy. Starting in January when I go in to watch her I can rest easy knowing my stomach helped the studio.

2. Bill and I ditched the oldest at dance and the boys with grandma and grandpa so we could catch the 11:20am Catching Fire. Rowan has dance from 11-3:30 on Saturdays {I know. I KNOW.}. I usually sit at the studio for a good portion of that time in case we need to go in and record her dances, or just to give her a quick hug between classes but we skipped out for a day date and I felt really guilty for leaving her on her own. However I quickly recovered when I realized the theater had replaced it’s regular seats with barcalounger stadium seating. Umm… kid-free popcorn-fueled entertainment with roomy seats that recline and cushy armrests that I don’t have to share? Rowan, WHO.

3. The movie was really good. It followed the book exactly and I’m not normally one to even notice unless they are egregiously bad, but the special effects were impressive. My favorite part though, was the row of preteen girls in front of me who exclaimed to each other in the loudest whisper possible, “DO YOU SEE THAT?! THEY’RE KISSING?!”, every time J-Law made out with a co-star. It was annoyingly adorable.

4. Ezra came home from his day of being ditched with a fever and his wambulance cry in full swing wherein he actually sounds like a siren. It’s a combo of whine and cry with a cadence of EEEEEEEEoooooooEEEEEEEoooooooEEEEEEEEooooooo. It’s not loud but he drones on and on and onandonandonandon and it’s driving me B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

5. After the kids go down we will continue our current tv binge watch which happens to be Sons Of Anarchy. This show was a bad choice to follow Six Feet Under, which was basically devoid on action and all high emotional drama where nothing and everything seems to happen within each episode. And that ending… best thing I’ve ever watched as far as TV goes PERIOD. Because of this, SoA was really hard to get into, so much so, that as we were winding down on season one I told Bill I didn’t want to keep watching, but then HOLY HELL. Every episode became a trainwreck of a life or death situation and I started to care about the characters {which like SFU, are all incredibly flawed and fairly shitty human beings at times}. It has become so intense that I made Bill also download the first season of Friends to watch in tandem so I can restore balance and get a better TV equilibrium.

Read Full Post »










{*Rowan at 8 photo credit Christine Welsh Photography*}

Read Full Post »

Two Septembers ago, in preparation for baby Ezra, we switched rooms with the kids, reclaiming the master bedroom for our own so we could share it with the baby and all the accompanying baby paraphernalia. *Backstory!: We gave Rowan and Keaton the master bedroom, which takes up most of our third floor, in May of 2009. It was awesome because it contained all the small people and their vast amount of toys upstairs, leaving the main floor to Bill and I who require a heck of a lot less brightly colored plastic crap to survive. I cannot tell you how much I liked this set-up, but alas. There was no way to fit the baby in the downstairs room with us so moving back upstairs was really the only choice we had as the association frowns on building outbuildings or putting a nursery on the roof. I did briefly consider getting an old VW van to outfit as a make-shift nursery in the garage but then I thought Child Protective Services might take issue with that. So! We preformed the great room swap once again and it all worked out okay. Since we plan to move in 2014 I thought we would all just stay put but sharing a room with a toddler who is ready to strike out on his own {what? He totally is. He told me so… with a very meaningful screech} was wearing on Bill and I. His schedule is predictable and he sleeps through the night so we weighed that against all the work the room switch would take and we decided that we should just tough it out. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, last week some asshole bee flew into my bonnet and, well, we’re going for it… bunking all three kids together upstairs so we can escape from them thoroughly every night at bedtime MUAHHAHAHAHA.

Okay, Internet, here is the play-by-play. I’ll either be mostly dead or really, really drunk by the end of today…

11:09 After waffling back and forth we decide it’s go time. Bill goes to the liquor store {NECESSARY}, I start work on the kids’ bookshelf.

11:21 Why do my kids have so many goddamn books? Who needs this many books? Reading is so overrated.

11:44 Bookshelf done! Reward: Baily’s in mah coffee.



12:24: Break for lunch. Pray to enter some sort of time-warp/worm-hole where this is all over.

1:11: Ezra is up from his nap. We can now play the “keep the baby out of ALL the things game”.

1:16: Begin upstairs clean and dismantle.

1:55 Time to go pick Rowan up from dance, SEE YOU SUCKERS!

2:50 Back from dance. Brian is here helping carry beds and dressers up two flights of stairs. Sorry we suck so much Uncle Brian!

3:35 It has been determined that trying to switch around 70% of your house with three small people whining at you at every turn is not going so well.

3:50 Bill departs with boy children to dump them at grandma and grandpa’s.

3:51 I depart with girl child to dump her at a friends for an overnight.

4:12 God it is gloriously quiet in here.

4:14 Now where did that Baily’s go…

4:23 Bill figures out how to wedge the train table under the bunk bed clearing out loft space. We marvel at his genius.

4:26 Oh shit, there’s a lot of crap under there. I quit marveling at his genius.

5:03 Sit down to roast dinner that’s been cooking in the crock pot all day.

5:13 Lose will to do anything other than digest while drinking beer.

5:17 Back at it. Go time.

5:32 Do all the things


5:53 Up the stairs

5:54 Down the stairs

5:55 Up the stairs

5:56 Down the stairs

5:57 Up the Stairs

5:58 Down the Stairs

5:59 Place beer at top railing as incentive to keep climbing up and down all these fucking stairs.

6:00 Sweet! Beer! This was a super awesome idea.

6:40 Bill departs to bring boy spawn home.

6:58 Okay. Kids’ bedroom put back together. It’s just like the nursery in Peter Pan only less British and with more Legos.

7:09 Boys home. New bedtime routine attempted.

7:33 Ezra goes down, seemingly smoothly in his new corner of the room.

7:50 Bill reads Keaton a story while Ezra falls good and asleep.

8:09 Successfully sneak Keaton into room and…


8:09 WAIT! I just had a great idea! I bet we could fit my desk in our room now! Free up loft space!

8:10 Bill cries angry tears of defeat and sorrow.

8:11 Oh, couch. I barely knew ye.

8:12 Bill cleans off the desk, swears a bunch and we carry it down.

8:22 I smile and give him a big fat wet one right on the lips.

8:25 I sit down and finish this post in my baby free room at my very own writing desk.

{Tomorrow? Closet and bathroom swap. Good thing we have leftover Baily’s.}

Read Full Post »


Okay. It’s been a little nutty around here the last few days with one disaster after another {after a-goddamn-nother} plus a houseful of sick kids but I really want to get Ezra’s post out there so I can check something off an ever-growing list of shit I have to do. I will try to make it as short and sweet as possible.

So remember last month? When I had the world’s crabbiest, whiniest, most pathetic baby? That baby completely disappeared and we had one of the most fun months ever with this little man. Eleven months will definitely go down as one of my favorite ages for him.

Let’s start with the growth:

Weight: 22 pounds even, 59%

Height: 30 Inches, 55%

Head: 18.2 Inches, 58%

In one year you grew almost 15 pounds and 10 whole inches~ very impressive, Baby! Especially since you were given strict instructions not to grow one damn ounce or millimeter. He really grew a ton this month. He is a full pound heavier than Keaton was at this age and 3 pounds bigger than Rowan. He switched over to mostly table foods. His favorites are spaghetti, meatballs, fishy crackers, grapes, oranges, apples and roast pork. He loves cheese but it makes his facial eczema flare up super bad. A life without cheese is a pretty sad thing, but I’m happy he likes so many other foods.


He tasted his first bit of whole milk this month! He has never had any formula, only breast milk from me or pumped then bottled so I was a little nervous he would take it. He wasn’t super impressed the first few times and mostly took sips which he then just let fall out of his mouth. He thought this was pretty funny, I, on the other hand found it moderately to severely disgusting. We’ve turned a bit of a corner though, the last day or two he has started chugging.

I have no real personal interest in breastfeeding a preschooler but the AAP recommends nursing until 2 so I’m not in a big rush to quit {although buying a few bras that don’t click open is starting to sound appealing}. We still do three sessions a day most days, but if I’m away from him or he doesn’t want/need it we skip with no problem. We do morning {sometimes right away, sometimes after an hour of being awake}, afternoon {to help get through his late-afternoon crabbies when he refuses to nap} and before bed. I think he’s on the verge of letting go of the bedtime feeding. We have a great routine in place so I don’t think cutting that feeding out will bother him at all. I’m going to let him lead the way though as far as weaning unless something changes things drastically. He seems to be on a similar track to Keaton, who weaned himself right at 15 months.


The big news of the month was obviously in the gross motor department, as we are now proud parents of another biped. After showing zero interest last month Ezra started to get more adventurous with cruising the furniture and standing alone. Then he visited his grandmas a few days apart and both had push along toys which he loved so I went out and got him one for an early b-day present and that was it! It gave him the practice and confidence to try it on his own and after a few days of very wiggly, wobbly steps he was practically a professional. It’s been about 2 weeks now and he chooses walking over crawling about 75% of the time. Seeing him just walk into a room like a real live human still totally freaks me out but this stage is one of my very favorites. That drunk baby walk gets me every single time.


It seems though, that all this moving and shaking has maybe caused him to lose a little focus in the language department. I did notice that he lost a few of the phrases that had translated into words over the last couple of weeks such as “drop” “stop” “yay” and “arf arf” for Luna. He would say mama and dada but not really discriminately, and then he quit saying everything all together except “MROOOOOWWWP” which he now uses for cat and every other animal you can thing of. It’s really the only thing he says now that has real meaning, although he does make vrooming noises when he plays cars and light saber noises when he picks up one of Keaton’s swords {or pencils, pens, sticks etc.}.

I didn’t pay it much attention until I filled out his 12 month questionnaire at his check-up and had to circle “no” for all the communication questions. His pediatrician seemed mildly concerned, mostly because we have a history of making extremely verbal children who both talked really early. We aren’t going to do anything about it yet, obviously he has a ton of time for a language explosion and it’s not uncommon for later-borns to take longer to talk because they have so many other family members willing to do it for them. In the mean-time we’re upping our reading time, verbally labeling everything and watching Baby Signing Time. I’m not too worried because he babbles constantly and his receptive language is awesome. He follows commands like “come here” and “go find blankey and nukky” so we know he hears and understands words but this is definitely uncharted territory for us.


Another big shift this month was that Ezra finally fully attached to a lovey. We tried a number of woobies which he shunned, then last month I was sure he was going to go for the small stuffed snoopy we pushed on him which he did snuggle and accept it for a while but just like his brother before him, he ended up with a major case of the snuggles and attached HARDCORE to a hand knit blanket my mom made for him when he was born. On the one hand, it’s really sweet that he picked something so sentimental and meaningful for his chosen lovey, on the other… UGH-CAKES. Rowan chose her woobie on her own at about 8 months old and she has loved that thing with her whole dang heart ever since. So many people bought Keaton a woobie, including us, in the hopes he would follow suit but nope, he chose his blanky which was fine until you realize what a pain in the ass it is to lug around a big blanket everywhere you go. Also: so many more square inches for germs to collect, grossgrossgross. I will admit the snuggling to be all kinds of adorable though, so there’s that.


Other firsts? First haircut {which you rocked}. First visit to the pumpkin patch {you were to brand new last year so you and mama stayed home and ate all the pumpkin seeds instead}. First overnight {which you did great at and was by far the least traumatic for me, of the three of you}. And baby’s first shiner, which occurred 5 days before your birthday but thankfully the swelling and the cut finally faded the day of.

It was such a big month in so many ways, Ezra Boy. Watching you turn into a bonafide, official, honest to goodness toddler has been both heart-breaking and amazing. Your first year brought so much to us. Sure there were frustrations, aggravations, and annoyances. Babies are hard sometimes. Really, really hard. But the love? It was everything to us. And along with Rowan and Keaton, YOU are everything to us.

{Now please, PLEASE go easy on us Toddler Ezra.}

{Now please, PLEASE go easy on us Toddler Ezra.}

Read Full Post »



One whole year…

of tiny onesies mysteriously sizing up and up and up.

of needful newborn cries for food and warmth morphing into impatient toddler wails for “uppies” and that bottle of rubbing alcohol you found cabinet diving in the bathroom that I so unjustly took away from you.

of snuggling you close to my chest to feed you every other hour to “woman, where are my damn goldfish crackers… And how ’bout some spaghetti while you’re in the kitchen.”

of slate eyes, tightly sealed under lids, slowly letting the world in until they became wide and bright and curious.

of swaddled arms breaking free to flap, clap and pull mama’s hair out.

of toes, delicious baby toes.

of legs pulled tight to your body and then streeeeeeetched out to standing and then Oh! there you go! as you bear-crawl away from me down the sidewalk.


It goes so fast is such a cliché. And one that was not even remotely true for my first two babies. Sure, now the last eight years of Rowan, and nearly six of Keaton seem to have passed in a half a blink, but boy Baby Jesus Almighty… getting through years 1 through 5 with Rowan and then Keaton’s very long, terrible, no-good first year seemed like swimming in thick sludge at times. There were so many beautiful moments mixed in that I wouldn’t trade for all that crying and/or hard-headedness, but I couldn’t see through to the other side because I hadn’t experienced it yet.

The gift that the two big kids gave me was perspective. Realizing how fast their childhoods are going by comes the realization that the screaming cries and poopy diapers and endless sleep routines and loooooong afternoons of being the sole entertainment are so short-lived relatively to… the rest of it. The weight of one screaming infant in one hand is nothing when the other hand holds a smart, funny, handsome five-year old, or a clever, artistic, beautiful 8-year-old. And there is so much more for them to teach me and so much more I will learn… but for now it comes back to perspective and how terrifyingly fast it all goes.


Speed this up times 1,000 and that has been your first year. Every milestone you hit was greeted with delight, but also with my heart saying, “Gosh, baby! Already?” and maybe a little, “What are you trying to prove ferchristsakes?” It certainly didn’t help that you hit every gross motor skill 1-2 months earlier than your siblings, making time seem to fast forward even more than I was prepared for. At six weeks, then three months, then seven months then 11 months I kept repeating to your dad, “I don’t understand how this happened? How are we already here?” My anthem to you was “Slow down, Baby”. But you didn’t listen. You did all of the things exactly when you wanted, regardless of how your mama felt. And that’s how it should be, but it did break my heart a time or two. Oh, okay all of the times.


I am so incredibly grateful to be sitting here in this moment with my sweet boy sleeping in his crib upstairs. One year later, from a pretty traumatizing pregnancy, I cannot fathom how your arms and eyes and legs and toes grew with such incredible, furious, break-neck speed but here you are… such a huge part of me, of us, of our family, and Ezra? We are so lucky to have you.

Happy One.


Photo credit: These were all taken by the awesome Christine at Christine Welsh Photography. She is just starting her business so I don’t have a link yet, but will add it as soon as her site is up. She did an amazing job capturing our first family photos ever.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »