I have sat down to write this post eleventy times since Ezra turned the big Oh-Three last Saturday but I really feel like this is the one, Internet. This is the time I’m going to focus, write, edit and hit publish.
{Um. That wasn’t it. BUT THIS IS.}
{Or not.}
{Okay, for reals this time…}
My baby? My awesome baby? Continues to be awesome. Except for the small matter of naps which is why it is so hard for me to sit down and write for an extended period. Gone {ALREADY WTF?} are the days of Ezra falling asleep while nursing so I can hunt and peck with one hand to cobble out a post. Now he eats a full meal very efficiently in about 15-20 minutes, barely giving me a chance to get through my e-mail. He’ll go down for three, sometimes four 30-45 minute naps per day which just isn’t enough time to focus so I can write a coherent, well, anything.
I don’t really like to complain about his sleep in general because the boy is still doing fairly awesome at night. Between 5am-7am we have to get up and nuk him a handful of times but he rarely gets so agitated that he needs to be rocked or fed anymore. And he’s happy when he’s up for the most part. Lots of smiles, content to be held and kissed and snuggled or happy to stretch out and kick on his playmat or in his crib. So yes, the nap thing blows, especially because I usually am holding him for the last 20 minutes he’s up and do you know how many random things I see that need to be done with two hands in those 20 minutes? SO MANY THINGS. So once he’s down I’ve catalogued a huge list of to-dos in my head that I set to right away but by the time I’m done I’ve eaten up most of his short nap so that when I settle down to the keyboard he already starts making noise and the cycle starts again. Okay maybe this does sound like complaining but no, really it’s just really how things are at this moment in his development but if babies have taught me anything it’s that by the time you get used to one pattern they up and decide to change things by way of growth spurt, new milestone or I don’t know, just to fuck with their parents, so all said, things are pretty great.
So to sum up the awesome:
* Smiley. So big and happy. Except {as demonstrated by these photos} for when I bring the camera out. Like most babies this age, Ezra loves faces, so I will grin at him, and he will grin right back and the second I lift the camera up he goes all “WHAT THE SHIT? Why you blocking my smiley face, woman?” giving an expression of disapproval or one of perpetual surprise. So you’ll just have to take my word for it on the smile thing, case in point…
* Fairly easy to please. Meaning, when he’s upset or fussy, there’s usually a reason and a quick fix. Evenings tend to be a little more fussy for him because the lack of quality sleep throughout the day is catching up with him which leads us to the game of should we/shouldn’t we when it comes to an evening nap. Mostly we get through it because he loves hanging out with his daddy. I don’t know if it’s that he can smell his dinner so close by when I hold him or that he already has me pegged for the giant sucker that I am, but he is definitely more content with Bill from about 5-7:30pm every night.
* Having a daddy’s boy is new territory that Bill is eating up. I worked when Rowan was an infant and when we were home I did not share that baby so Bill didn’t get a whole lot of one-on-one time with her. And Keaton? Well, he sort of hated Bill until he was almost 2. And that was hard for all of us. So it’s a nice, very welcome change and it makes me so happy to see Ezra and his daddy just hanging. {Except for when Bill is throwing my tiny precious sack of hard-earned baby upupup into the air to play and I don’t care if that baby is smiling ear-to-ear, babies are dumb and don’t know DANGER DANGER!!!}
*Gurgles and coos. Breaking the legal limit for cuteness daily. The conversations I have with this child may have no literal meaning but they are the most fulfilling interactions I have each day. Who knew that “cccccccuuurrrrrrrgggggguuuuugggglllllee” back and forth for 10 minutes could make one so insanely proud and happy?
*As mentioned above, eating is going well. He is pretty consistent in needing 5 feedings, spaced roughly 3 hours apart during the day and none at night. The resulting spit-up is still not great, sometimes I feel like he throws up his whole meal within a half-hour of eating it and sometimes he barely spits up anything. He has not had many bottles of pumped milk this month, only 2 or 3. I had so much stock-piled milk at this point with both Rowan and Keaton but things regulated relatively quickly this time so I just don’t have the supply for extra pumping. When he does have a bottle, he eats about 7 oz {BIG FAT BABY} and still has had no issue with taking a bottle other than it’s not big or fast enough for his liking. The days {and nights} of grunting are long over which brings us too…
* POOP {What? You can’t write about a baby and not mention their wee little precious shits.} Ezra went from straining to get out one extremely hard-won poop a day, to pooping at literally every single feeding this month. We were so happy and relieved when he started going more because we were so sick of a constantly grunting baby but when he starting pooping 7 times a day we were sort of over it, like, seriously baby? We see that you can do it, now you’re just showing off. We are still solely cloth diapering with prefolds and covers, breaking out the disposables only for babysitters or during laundry emergencies {“emergencies” translating to “oh shit, did you run the diapers on hot again because I totally forgot”}. After outgrowing the newborn prefolds we only bought 2 dozen of the next size up, meaning we’ve had to do laundry every other day which BLERRRG NO THANK YOU. I’m getting excited to break out Keaton’s old pocket diapers, they’re definitely easier to deal with and we have a TON of them.
And now for the not-so-awesome:
*Cradle cap. OH MY GOD. It’s icky and awful and scaley and it will not go away. Granted I haven’t really taken any aggressive action against it because Dr. Google tells me one thing really works and then half of the internet shows up commenting that “no! that way sucks do it this way!” and then the other half says “no! THAT is terrible, do it like this” and then I get paralyzed with the fear that I’ll screw up his skin and give him baby leprosy or some shit so I’ve stuck to the pediatricians original advise which is to wash his hair daily, brush the affected area several times a day with a soft baby brush and apply neosporin and vaseline when and where I can. It has tamed a bit, but the angry red patches left after the scales come off give me the sads. It just looks painful, but Ezra seems happy enough so eh, I know he’ll outgrow it.
*Naps aside, the main frustration we have is schedules, not the baby’s but everyone else’s; we’re slowly inching closer to having a regular schedule if life would stop getting in the way. Ezra’s natural rhythm would be to sleep from 8:30pm to between 5 and 6am, eat then go back to bed until 9-9:30am. This is a PHENOMENAL schedule! The majority of parents would KILL for it… unfortunately, it just doesn’t jive with our morning routine that great because on Mon and Tues I have to get Rowan out to the bus stop right when he’d be waking up and this baby? Wakes up hungry. MAD hungry. When he wakes up with an empty tummy is actually the only time he full on cries. For now this is what’s working:
5-7am: We’re doing the aforementioned nukking when he starts waking up. This pacifies him until…
7am: Wake-up, change, feed.
7:30am: Playtime
8:15: Starts to get tired. I carry him around until…
A) 9:10 after Rowan gets on the bus {Mon and Tues} or
B) 8:35 when we have to take Keaton to preschool. {W,Th,F}
10-10:20: wake-up and eat.
10:30-10:45: Playtime
And here is where things get tricky due to different daily schedules for preschool, school, dance and shitty naps. Typically every night he’s ready for a last meal and lights out between 7:30 and 8:30pm. We’re constantly tweaking things but it’s hard when the reality is that life with three kids has too many variables to have any sort of set-in-stone schedule. It just sort of sucks because on the days we can keep him to a schedule he seems a hellava lot happier and so do I.
Ezra, this month you showed us so many awesome new things. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since we’ve had a baby but when you do something new it seriously feels like you are the first baby ever in the history of babies to be so amazing, even though I myself have produced two similarly amazing genius babies. When you gurgle out a new octave of cooing I get lost in the cadence of your sweet voice. And my favorite is when you wave your chubby hands around, grasping at air and then surprise! you’ve grabbed onto my necklace, the confused but delighted look on your face is priceless, like you’ve been out fishing but never really expected to catch anything. You are so communicative {read: LOUD} just like your brother and sister, who I’m pleased to report still love you very much, even when mama says “I’m sorry, I can’t, I’m with the baby” for the one-thousandth time. None of us can get enough of you.
In the morning when I nurse you it is still dark outside. We sit in the rocking chair and I pull up the shade and peek through the side of the curtain to watch the neighborhood go from black to deep blue to pink to light. Your dad is in the shower and your rowdy siblings have yet to wake and fill the house up with their giggles. I watch as you eat, you lift your hand up and rub your own head in a soothing circular motion, a mannerism all your own, or maybe, possibly, inherited from your dad. In the quiet it is just you and it is just me and the peace I feel both humbles me and swells me with pride. It is our time and I love it almost as much as I love you.
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