I am very carefully and scientifically going to choose and feature my Favorites in a series of posts that I will write whenever I don’t have anything else to write about (read: my children and/or The Universe aren’t trying to kill me this week (yet) which I’m not really used to so I will peck away at this keyboard in hopes I go unnoticed). Do you care? Probably not. BUT! I will be able to look back at this and mourn the passing of my coolness with absolutely no dignity at all while eating a stick of butter when I’m like 57 or something so this is for me, not you (unless you want it to be for you, in which case Here! Look what I wrote for you!).
So My Favorite Musical Movies, I will put these in the order I saw them in (not how I rank them).
1. Wizard of Oz: The first movie I ever saw, at around three years old. I could write a whole post on this movie (wait! don’t go!). We taped it off TV and I can’t even count how many times I watched it. I can tell you that I would only answer to the name Dorothy for roughly two years of my life, though. Not only the best musical of all time but the best movie, period. And if you don’t agree with me, that’s OK. As long as you know you’re wrong. And probably a little bit stupid. But, seriously, that’s totally OK. *With the thoughts you’d be thinkin’, You could be another Lincoln, If you only had a brain…
2. Sound of Music: I would watch this with my mom when it played on TV once a year or so. I so wanted to be a Von Trapp so I could live in a mansion, have a special whistle when it was time for inspection and wear matching drape outfits with my siblings. Also, I thought the marionette set was one of the coolest things ever. God, though,what an assface Rolph was. *Small and white, clean and bright…
3. Labyrinth: Oh how I LOVED this movie when I was a kid, maybe 7-9 years old. Though we owned the worlds biggest VHS player (that thing must’ve weighed 40 pounds and lasted from 1981-2003) my parents almost never bought us movies. My cousins had a copy though and I would request to go over to their house just so I could watch that movie. The orange guys freaked me out but I can’t even begin to praise the awesome of a teen-age Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie’s wiener hugging leggings. And The Bog of Eternal Stench? Genius. *You remind me of the babe…
4. Annie: OK what little girl sees this movie and doesn’t fantasize about living in an orphanage with all her best friends and a dog? Just me? You are lying. This was another one taped off of TV (I’m beginning to think my parents spent all our money on the colossal VHS player and had no money left over to actually buy movies for it). At some point I bought the soundtrack for this and made the mistake of introducing Rowan to it. For seven months (SEVEN LOOOOONG MONTHS) this was the only acceptable music ever to be played in the house or the car. It has recently been kicked out of the number 1 spot by Mama Mia. * If I wring Little necks, surely I will get an acquittal…
5. Mary Poppins: Listen, what’s not to love about Julie Andrews? She has a gorgeous face with a voice to match and if you can withhold the urge to punch her Practically Perfect In Every Way-ness you have to admit she is awesome. Mary Poppins is one of those movies that I appreciate even more now that I’m an old lady. This broad had men wrapped around her finger, could get little brats to do her bidding, drank rum punch, knew really long words and could fly anywhere with an umbrella. She is made of magic. Also, watching Dick Van Dyke knowing how shit-faced he was during filming is really pretty fun. Plus I’m a sucker for cockney English accents and guys that can play those multi-instrument playing machine thingys. *(I know this is not from the original, per say, but it gets stuck in my head every time.) Lisa: If Maggie’s fussy, don’t avoid her Bart: Let me get away with moider Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks Homer: Might I add- no fat chicks…
6. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: I didn’t see this movie until I was 11 or 12 and I was more than a little disturbed by Gene Wilder’s creepiness but in a good kind of way. My favorite character was Violet. I wanted to beat the shit out of her and that endeared her to me for some reason. *I want the world, I want the whole world…
7) Cry-Baby: So one of the worst movies ever made ever in the history of cinema. I tried watching it again, with Bill a couple of years ago and after blushing profusely for 25 minutes and seeing the look of absolute horrifying disgust on his face I turned it off. But oh god how I so inappropriately loved Johnny Depp and this movie when I was twelve. * Let people talk I don’t care, Let me prove to you daddy that I ain’t no Square…
8. Grease: I got into this around the same time as my Cry-Baby stage but I just couldn’t get on board with John Travolta when Johnny Depp was so superior in every way.(See what a smart 12 year old I was?) I did love some of the songs though and my inner bitch identified with Rizzo’s tomboyishly cool, I-don’t-give-an-eff-about-you-or-your-motha persona. *Tell me more, Tell me more, did she put up a fight…
9. Singin’ in the Rain: Easily in my top 5 favorite movies of all time. I saw it for the first time as a teenager and it was love at first watch. I put Bill through the Singin’ in the Rain test (Test: make boyfriend watch Singin’ in the Rain. If he likes it, marry his ass, if he doesn’t, dump his ass) which clearly he passed with flying colors. We went through a period of months where we would buy a jug (yep, a jug, baby) of Carlo Rossi White Zinfandel and drink it all whilst being wowed by Gene Kelly’s feet. Those are some of my happiest memories of our pre-married life. *Come on with the rain, I’ve a smile on my face…
10. Moulin Rouge: I know a lot of people did not get this movie or just thought it plain sucked but it is honestly the very best of all that I love about the musical genre. We went to this movie not even knowing what it was about and holy crap I was just bowled over with love and admiration for this very grand, very spectacular film. Baz Luhrmann attacks your senses in a way no other can. The colors, costuming, story and songs were so blasted full of art and life and every aspect was vamped up to its top notch. Others may disagree but I really think of it as cinematic genius and the haters can go suck an egg, or piss up a rope or whathaveyou hater haterpants. *The greatest thing You’ll ever learn Is just to love and Be loved in return…
To sum up, you really have to eff up a musical for me not to love it so, uh, do what you will with that information.
Other notable mentions before I leave you for my butter stick: The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, Across the Universe, Once, Chicago, Mama Mia and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (but only for that really terribly awesome opening song).
My super kaduper life 