Last weekend Rowan and I decided to try our luck at container gardening so we picked up a few pots, some soil and a variety of seeds whose packages promised us they would grow- Even at the murderous thumbs of me, who seem to kill green things just by showing up in the same room. Yesterday Rowan ran in from our little deck where we had lined the plants up and said, “Mom! I just haved the most FABULOUS idea.” And before I could inquire what it was, or correct her grammar like the asshole I am, she grabbed this book, ran out to the deck and started reading:
The story she read to our little plants was, of course, The Garden, wherein Frog gives Toad some seeds to start a garden and Frog plants them and impatiently awaits their arrival. I know she’s my kid so I’m incredibly biased, but it was the cutest dang thing you ever did see. So cute that I thought: I shall get my phone and record this for all the internets to see how superiorly adorable my girl-child is. And it IS a really cute video, except right in the middle of it Keaton had to use the bathroom so I told him to go ahead and go. Only I didn’t realize the bathroom door was closed and (THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS) he still can’t open our doors. So out comes Keaton to let me know he can’t get in, but he’d already undressed so he was butt nekkid from the waist down, wiener hanging in the wind, for all the world to see right in the middle of the adorably cute scene.
Now the video went from cute to hilarious but not exactly for internet consumption. My son will, I’m sure, have to forgive me for a lot of things but I’m not sure if posting his wienerhausen on the internet would be one of them. So we’re just keeping it to our friends and relatives to be safe. And probably future prom dates. We’ll wait and see how much he pisses me off as a teenager before I make that decision.