Rowan J, what a year it has been. Year and a half really, if we’re starting from the time things got really rough. I have to be honest in saying that the first six months of Five kicked all of our asses thoroughly and completely. When I thought 4 was bad? BOY FREAKING HOWDY was I in for a shock at five.
But. Here you are. Here we are. At Six. And the girl I see right now is so very, very different from the girl of a year ago. I know there are a lot of contributing factors to this but mostly it’s because of you, Rowan. Your hard work. Your determination. Your never bending force of will. You learned some very valuable things without compromising who you are, perhaps even growing more into who you rightfully could and should be. The fight hasn’t gone out of you, not by a long shot, but somewhere in the sea of the last year you learned to convert that fight into something more productive. You learned to manage your emotions in a way that more positively reflected how you feel and because of that we all got a better idea of who this little being is, and you? Are nothing short of amazing.
Here is a recap of the things that brought you here…
We began the year of five in a fairly desperate state in terms of what to do with you and what you needed from us. In desperation we turned to occupational therapy in hopes that if they could help you with some of your mild to moderate sensory issues, we could better manage the other aspects. It was a really hard choice, but one of the best ones we’ve ever made as parents. What we found out was that your sensory quirks were exacerbated, if not caused by, a moderate vestibular disorder. Once we began in earnest working on getting your body to cross its mid-line and recognize its relationship to the ground, everything else fell into place. Your sensory issues dissipated when we started to treat the actual underlying problem and you were on the road to a happier you. It sounds so simple when I write it here but it took an incredible amount of work as a family to get you to this place. Somewhere around February we started seeing results and from there it went fast~ it was like we had our kid back. Last April, with a packet of homework and a wish of good luck, we were given your OT’s blessing to take an extended break to see how you managed without weekly sessions and we haven’t look back since.
Dance had a huge role in the success with treating the vestibular disorder. It also had a huge role in nearly driving mommy to the nut house covered in glue and sequins, but I’d gladly repeat this year knowing what a big difference it made in your ability to get comfortable in your own body. Now I love you with my whole big mama-bear heart, Kid, but you are NOT a natural dancer. We didn’t sign you up for competitive dance so you could shake your sequined-riddled butt up on stage, we kept you in it because it forced your body to learn to operate the way it’s naturally supposed to, to try and unwind from the tight, rigid, stiffness that defined it, only in your case it takes a lot of extremely hard work. After watching you that first month and seeing how far behind you were in terms of flexibility and know-how, I’m going to be honest, it was torture and I wanted to pull you out. Watching you stumble and fall over and over again, and then keeping my mouth shut when I just wanted to shout “Her brain is actually physically incapable of moving her body that way!!!” is one of the hardest tests as a parent I’ve come across. But you COULD do it- you proved that to us. It’s just ridiculously harder than it is for your average kid. Week after week you hung in there and you grew by leaps and bounds compared to where you started from. We are so proud of all you accomplished. I so wish we could keep you in at the level you are now but the commitment for this next year jumps from 3.5 hours a week to 9-10 hours a week and we just don’t see that working out with how this year seems to be shaping up. We have some other things planned that will help condition your body to keep functioning right which will hopefully be enough. This has been an agonizing decision for us but we’re pretty sure it’s the right one, especially because you want to keep up with piano which just wouldn’t be an option otherwise.
Moving on…Kindergarten certainly didn’t help an already rough patch. There are so many things I could say about last school year but I will keep it to this little nugget: I should have trusted my gut when it came to the class dynamic and the teacher. I should have moved you or pulled you out after the first couple of weeks. But being the stubborn lady I am {and optimistic at ALL THE WRONG TIMES} I kept you in and the year, though FAR FAR FAR less than idyllic, ended positively and you came out of it with good friends and a ton of new skills. Academically you really soared and watching you make and have your first real “best friend” was so sweet. Judging by how you’ve done with the reading and math exercises you’ve worked on this summer, I am excited for you to start first grade, not in small part because the teacher is the exact polar opposite of last year’s.
Rowan, this year you learned to add and subtract. You learned to read. You danced in a competitive line up on stage, in front of enormous audiences and panels of judges. You learned the 1st-5th ballet positions. You learned all the words and fell in love with Castle on a Cloud. You learned what a principal’s office looks like. You learned to read music. You learned to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. You learned to hold your breath under water. You’re on the verge of learning to swim. You laughed more this year than the three previous years combined due to your brother’s uncanny comedic timing with the uses of the words “fart” and “poop”. You made me so frustrated that I cried. You made me so proud I cried. You are always now, and ever, truly You.
And we love you, Rowan J. We really, really do.
Here is Rowan’s Year of Five slideshow. I know it’s long but you should know it’s a full five minutes shorter than last year’s which came in at a whopping 13 minutes. I’m sorry, Internet, but my photos are mah babies and it’s HARD to choose. At least the Justin Bieber stage was short-lived so you get to listen to Rowan’s current favorite, Florence and the Machine instead of “Baby, Baby, Baby, OHHHH, Like…”. Yeah. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Rowan’s Year of Five from Christy Gunter on Vimeo. Click here if you want to watch a larger version so your eyeballs don’t up and fall out of your head.
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My super kaduper life 