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Posts Tagged ‘I take stupid pictures’

Yesterday the sky was gorgeous in the late afternoon, so after looking up and cursing at it profusely for the loss of my camera on these last few, precious 50 degree days, I took out my phone. I have a mild to moderate obsession with Instagram. I love that I can worry more about composition than photo quality {understanding that it is what it is with a phone} and the fact that I can immediately edit is awesome*. The biggest reason however is the “moment” factor. Here’s the thing. Kids are quick, and fickle, fickle beings sometimes/muchofthetime/allthetime. If I relied solely on my DSLR I would come back with aaaaaa looooooot of blur and grainy stuff, and also it’s a beast of a thing so it’s not always possible/practical for me to drag it along. I wouldn’t capture a third of the small moments I currently do if I didn’t use my phone.

So I collect as many moments as I can throughout the day and usually edit over naps or after the kids go to bed and then I either post the 1-2 best images {or get obnoxious and bomb the poor feed sorrynotsorry}. Then, after what is inevitably a very long, busybusy day, I crawl into bed, pull out my phone and scroll through my feed which allows me a time to stop, be still, and be thankful for these sweet little things that dominate our every waking move. A kind of a prayer of yes, the baby hand-fed most of his lunch to the dog… yes, Rowan cried tears of frustration at finishing her timed math homework… and yes Keaton is sick AGAIN, But! Here is a chalk drawing of our family on my driveway. Here is a toothless grin. Here is a hog-pile mid-giggle.

Here is our life, staring back at me, so much on an impossibly small screen.

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 {*The majority of my editing is done with PicTapGo, VSCO cam and I sometimes use an Intagram filter.}

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Hello, Internet! Happy 2013! I have a holiday re-cap in the works but I know how much you like to see embarrassing pictures of my family so I just could NOT put you through the agony of waiting any longer. So!…

We were back at the Mallinger’s for their annual New Year’s Gala {this year it was a gala because three of us were in a dress, shut up, it works}. Bill and I really didn’t know how the night would go with the baby, and it was definitely a little different from our usual care-free night of debauchery, but it really went surprisingly well thanks to a very cooperative Ezra. After almost a year of a stone sober wife, it was Bill’s turn to stay sober {normally we spend the night but we weren’t THAT adventurous with a two month old} so I packed a ton of expressed milk for later, breastfed the baby at 9 o’clock, pumped and was ready to join in the fun {read: drinking} by 10pm. I had a few drinks and champagne at midnight and around 1am, knowing Ezra would be due to wake up soon, Bill asked me where the bottle was. Uh. Yeah. So I had packed approximately one thousandy ounces of breastmilk but nothing to actually get that milk into the baby. SHIT. {And this is why exhausted parents of very small babies cannot be trusted}. Thankfully Ezra slept peacefully through the transfer to his car seat and the ride home, so it was really a non-issue in the end, but ugh. Christy – sleep + packing = DUMBASS.

Anyway! Sometimes we do a theme for these nights, sometimes we don’t. This year Bill’s brother bought Ezra a tiny tuxedo onesie for Christmas so when my sister asked if we wanted to do a theme I told her Ezra would be dressing up for the occasion so maybe we should too. Everyone was on board! We thought it would be fun to hit up Goodwill/Savers for terrible promwear and Jen and Jay came across some great finds but Bill was looking for a bow-tie get-up which we had no luck with. I really didn’t want to go out and spend money on a dress, even a goodwill one, so I was planning to just wear my bridesmaid’s dress from Snoreface’s wedding but then I had an even better idea! What if I didn’t have to wear a dress at all! All I had to do was talk Bill into a dress… It was a super tough sell that went something like this:

Me: I know! YOU should wear the dress.

Bill: DONE.

And so commenced Fancy New Year’s!

The Fancy baby that started it all.

The Fancy baby that started it all. So handsome.

And here it is, Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband in a very pink dress.

And here it is, Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband in my very pink dress. It definitely helped that I was 7 months pregnant when I wore it but we still had to buy a similarly very pink shirt to bridge the gap in the back so it would fit him. And it did. Like a very manly pink glove. {I’ll have you know that the headband/bow combo was his idea.} {The eyeshadow and blush were decidedly all me though.}

Jen's dress looked fabulous and set her back a whole 8 bucks. I'd tell you all about the terrible green jacket complete with FAKE BROWN SILK OMGGROSS shirt but I still can't get past that awful facial hair he's been sporting since Movember. So wrong.

Jen’s dress looked fabulous and set her back a whole 8 bucks. I’d tell you all about the DCFI’s terrible green jacket complete with BROWN FAKE SILK-I-touched-it-and-died-a-little-bit-inside shirt but I still can’t get past that awful facial hair he’s been sporting since Movember. So wrong.

We jumped right in to Just Dance 4. My neice Ellie decided her dad and uncles needed to preform One Direction together,

We jumped right in to Just Dance 4. My niece Ellie decided her dad and uncles needed to perform a One Direction song together…

So they did, and it was magical.

So they did, and it was magical.

Snoreface with the night's youngest revelers.

Snoreface with the night’s youngest revelers.

Jorie wore her mom's Junior prom dress. That is straight up, unadulterated 1989 right there, people.

Jorie wore her mom’s Junior prom dress. You are staring at straight-up, unadulterated 1989 right there, people.

The boys were very serious about their Final Countdown performance. {Bill soon realized that strapless dresses and vigorous booty-shakin just don't mix, but he kept the headband on like a good sport.

The boys were very serious about their Final Countdown performance. Bill soon realized that strapless dresses and vigorous booty-shakin’ just don’t mix {so much man-nip-slip} but he kept the headband on like a good sport.

Even grandma got in on the fun!

Even grandma got in on the fun!

If you don't know what dance this is, I'm sorry, you're not allowed in 2013 because you clearly failed 2012.

If you don’t know what dance this is, I’m sorry, you’re not allowed in 2013 because you clearly failed 2012.

Jen and the Deps rounded out the night with a so bad it's really just awesome dance to "I've had the time of my life". Yes the lift at the end was attempted and No, no one was thrown directly into the fireplace {although it may have beeb a close call}.

Jen and the Deps rounded out the night with a so-bad-it’s-really-just-awesome dance to “I’ve had the time of my life”. Yes, the lift at the end was attempted and no, no one was thrown directly into the fireplace {although it may have been a close call and the headline would have been epic : Deputy Chief Fire Idiot Throws Fancy Wife into Fire in Romantic Dance Gone Horribly Awry}.

Needless to say we had too much fun for our own good, as it should be on this night. Happy 2013, Internet.

Needless to say we had too much fun for our own good, as it should be on this night. Happy 2013, Internet.

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So there were no actual ‘intakes’. Taking pictures of  scwerrrrmy babies is hard, Internet.

12.21.6

We went from Why God, Why?!…

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…To indignant submission.

In other news. Fat baby is fat. I’m sorry but there are no guarantees he didn’t eat Santa after this photo was taken.

Santa looks a little terrified he fat baby might eat him.

Chubbins.

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Four weeks will be summed up thusly: CRANKY BRITCHES.

Good thing he’s cute, huh?

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…Does this baby make my butt look big?

PS~ Ugh, I know this is lame but a stupid November storm knocked out our power at midnight making our already small amount of sleep even smaller and we had a full day for Ezra with his first time at church and his first visit to Grandma Mary’s so it is what it is, Internet. It is what it is.

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Ezra William, October 26th, 2012 at 10:29pm. 7lb 11.6oz, 20 inches. To say we are completely gobsmacked in love with this human doesn’t begin to describe it…welcome to our family, Mini Budders.

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This post is going to be light on letters and words and such since I idiotically injured my left pinky. I don’t even have a cool story, I barely pinched it in the door at my mom’s this morning and it just swelled up insanely large, is now a dark purplish black and I’m pretty sure, perilously close to falling right off. Anyway I’m TIRED as we’ve had a busy day getting the carpets cleaned and finishing up the odds and ends from the entryway redecorating, including installing a cat door on the laundry room door to cut down on litter tracking {and Luna’s ingestion of cat poop} which the cats {namely Monkey} did NOT thank us for. We are now doing a delicate dance of  “oh look at this delicious feast on the other side of this flappy door! Some might even call it a FANCY Feast!” and “please don’t get mad and pee on my pillow”. Only time will tell if our efforts will be rewarded with piss-free bedding.

So in the interest of keeping things simple, here are a few of my favorite shots from Thursday, which at nearly 60 degrees, ended up being one of the warmest Thanksgivings on record. {I’m even too lazy for captions because on the other side of this post is a glass of wine and a double feature of the last two Harry Potter movies. Happy Saturday!





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