Posts Tagged ‘exercising hobos unite’

It’s nearly a week into the new year and I have yet to utter one single resolution for the betterment of my own life and/or the world at large. As much as I really liked the format of a laundry list of goals both long and short-term, and the monthly shamefest, uh, I mean check-in, it’s just not a possibility for me at this juncture, and that’s not me being lazy, it’s me being truthful. It’s not because I don’t have goals. Actually my goals for this year are so big, so incredibly giant, that one or two of them could very seriously kick the shit out of last year’s whole list.

The problem is? I have zero control over these goals. I can’t work really hard, or pray to baby jebus, or rub a buddha belly, or stay up all night worrying, or practicepracticepractice, or say any magic words {but trust me I will be doing many combinations of all of those things anyway} to achieve these goals. Sure, there are things I can do to improve my chances but in the end, I’ll have to breathe deep, let go and see where the path leads. Did I mention I’m not very good at that sort of thing? Because, really. I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT THAT SORT OF THING. I like to know whenwhywhowhatwherehow many months in advance of anything, but the “when” is my weakest point. I’m a stickler for time, and in being such, I’m a sucker for time and like how most of these things go, it’s one of my greatest strengths and terrible weaknesses. So not having a timeline for many of my goals is…hmm…let’s put it nicely and just say it’s aggravating.

So I’m not going to go in depth about most of the big goals, but since I got all over-sharey last November, you guys already know that we’re working on procuring ourselves another little gunterling so it’s pretty obvious that this is one of the big goals for 2012. Unfortunately, time is not on our side. If it were only as simple as getting pregnant, {which OHRIGHT, has not been simple} but the real complicating factor is that if I do get knocked up I will also be knocked on my ass for a minimum of four months. Hyperemesis doesn’t mean you feel sort of queasy during periods of the day, or that certain foods send you running to the bathroom. It means you feel like you’re in the middle of the worst hangover you’ve ever had with no end in sight and every single thing you even get a whiff of can start the puking. By the second week of this with both kids, I swear I did not even feel like a human being anymore. I am not functional in any normal sort of way.

I cannot be in this state over the summer months, for one, because the kids are home fulltime and while Bill’s job is flexible it’s not THAT flexible, and for two, my younger sister is getting married at the end of July and I sort of think she’d appreciate it if I was upright and didn’t have throw-up on my bridesmaid dress. So. That means the worst of the sickness needs to be over by Mayish and even that’s REALLY pushing it. So that means that if I don’t get and stay {always a plus!} knocked up by mid-late February, then that’s it for Operation Gunterling 2012.

The pressure of it all is sort of making me want to punch myself in my own damn face, which is why I need a smallish outlet that will come in the form of miniature goals, not to be confused with miniature golf which is also fun but completely off topic. At first I thought I could start with a few goals for each month, easily attainable ones that I could give myself a cheap pat on the back for but even that seems like a stretch right now. With so very many unknowns set out before us, I am opting for weekly goals that I’m going to put zero pressure on myself for keeping up with should our circumstances change or maybe even if I get distracted by something bright and shiny.

I’m thinking maybe now would be a good time to quit talking and start listing.

Goals for January, Week One:


Somewhere in the hectic schedules of 4 dance lessons/karate/piano/preschool/kindergarten et all, and the hugely chaotic seasons of fall and winter and the 9,008 holidays stuffed into them, I quit playing with Keaton. And when I did I was most assuredly making a to-do list in my head or worrying about what I should/could be getting done at the moment. I personally think that there’s nothing wrong with a little independent playtime or even to throw a video or PBS on so you can attack that bathroom or the looming laundry pile that threatens to take over the house. But over the last 6 weeks I was leaning on those things far more heavily than I normally like to and I could really see the difference in Keaton. Kid was cranky. Kid was needy. Kid was sort of an asshole.

This is not normally my hilarious, smiley, happy-go-lucky guy, so after I vacuumed up the last of the pine needles on Monday, I sat down and thought about how to help him and the answer came pretty easy. Keaton’s “love language” or whatever new-agey, touchy-feely term you want to stamp on it, is no big mystery…he wants time. Time with me specifically, and that has been seriously lacking since this summer. So this week I made myself prioritize my chores so I could carve out most of my mornings just for him and wow what a difference it made. Yes I was getting the beginnings of a sinus infection, yes we were all trying to reacclimate to the normal week’s routine, but I still made time for a delicious Play-Doh sushi brunch, a paper jams jamming session, multiple tea parties and fun games for numbers and letters practice. And I also reminded myself that this is a kid who can really be happy doing anything as long as he’s with me so I had a laundry buddy, a dishes buddy, a dusting buddy and a exercising buddy. It’s actually been a pretty fun week.


Other than the obvious, the biggest downside of last fall’s miscarriage was that it was very physically painful and lasted weeks, and when it was over I was left smack dab in the middle of Christmas cookie season. Part of the problem is that having the knowledge that I could become horribly ill and go for months without being able to eat barely any food, let alone good food, can really fuck with you. In other words, I really wanted to monopolize on my food intake while I could. This is actually a pretty smart move considering I lost around 20 pounds in my first trimester with Rowan and 16 with Keaton. Natch, this time I never got sick but I was completely inactive during the weeks leading up to and then during the almost four week period it took me to miscarry. Needless to say, my body took a beating and I was in no place to start an exercise regimen. And guess what?! I’m still not. But I can’t live like I’m going to get knocked up when all evidence points to the fact that it might not happen for a while.

Until I know for sure, my goal is to move more, which means less couch time and more activity. For this week my move time involved running my stairs, 16 steps worth, 25 times. I know this sounds like a tiny amount and that’s what I thought during rounds 1{ha!},2{seriously this is it?},3{yawn},4{this is laughable}, 5 {and also for pussies} and then six came and I wanted to chop both of my legs off mid-thigh and my heart rate was telling me that perhaps I better slow down lest it explode right then and there and I still had 19 more rounds to go. I did this three times this week, only skipping Thursday due to the aforementioned sinus infection that threatened to flatten me but was staved off by that day of rest and copious amounts of Emergen*C and zi*cam.

The other thing I did for movement was purchase our very own copy of Just Dance 3 and you laugh now, Internet, but after dancing five of those things in quick succession I dare you not to be a sweaty mess. This was also a huge hit with Keaton who likes to do it with me. I’ll be re-evaluating what will keep me moving from week-to-week, but since this worked really well this week, I plan to keep it up for next. By March I’ll be able to form a more coherent exercise plan if need be, which will definitely include a more regimented schedule of running and strength training, but for now, this works.


Again. I don’t really know what the next few weeks will bring so making a huge diet overhaul would be a waste of time. After the overindulgence of the holidays, my plan for this week was to under-indulge if you will, which included way smaller portions, lots of vegetables, bananas, oranges and nuts, and many many gallons of water. Wine, olives and cheese are going back to weekend-only duty for the most part. So sad.

And that’s really it. I think for now it’s enough to give me focus without frustrating me due to the oh so many unknowns of 2012. I probably won’t punish you with weekly check-ins but if there’s a big shift or new goal or some of the fog clears that will give us some damn insight to what the next 12 months holds, I’ll be sure to fill you in.


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Oh! Hi there! I sort of just remembered I have a blogging reputation to maintain so imma gonna throw some words atcha. I don’t really know why I wrote that in a ghetto accent. I guess I feel a little awkward around the Internet since I haven’t been writing much lately. This sort of reminds me of every diary I had as a preteen and teenager where the first entry starts out all giddy, laying out how I was going to write my most secret eleven-year-old thoughts {which would have been…??} every day and my diary was going to be my new best friend and then every subsequent entry started with an apology, an excuse and a solemn promise to do better from that point on. {Yes. I apologized to a bunch of bound pieces of paper.} There would be maybe six of those entries in a years’ time and then I would get a new diary because I could no longer look at the old one without feeling guilty. Did this happen to everyone or just us guilt-ridden Catholic girls?


I’m going to fore-go the usual check-in format for 1.) Because this is ridiculously late and for 2.) only talking about the things I accomplished makes me look better and  for 3.) AM LAZY.


*I have been drinking a ton of water. I’ve also been peeing a lot. GO FIGURE.

*My Tamron lens and I have moved past that initial awkward stage where we have trouble striking up a conversation to being pretty comfortable in each others’ company. I mean, it hasn’t let me get to third base with it yet or anything, we’re taking it slow- but at least 90% of my pictures are coming out in focus.

* Finding a routine for downtime is sort of a lost cause at this point because soon there will be no downtime. In 2 short weeks Rowan and Keaton will be done with school and oh my god what the hell are we going to do all day, every day together? New goal: Maybe plot out summer goals so we don’t all kill one another by week two.

* I read a ton this last month- funny how you can do that when every spare second of your time isn’t dominated by the Almighty Sequin. I read Two Kisses for Maddy, a memoir by Minnesota native Matt Logelin, two Ann Rule true crime books that I can’t even remember the titles to right now~ rest assured there was a murdered wife/girlfriend and a determined detective/parent/journalist who just would not let go of the case until justice was served. Then I guilty pleasured it up by reading the sequel to Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater, Linger which was surprisingly way better than the first book which I didn’t care for that much but I wanted to see where the second book went. I like being surprised even if it is by a teen-fic werewolf book. Speaking of teen-fic, Bill and I finished reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. I thought the first and last books were the weakest, which sort of sucks but still would highly recommend the series. Lastly, I finally read The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, which is pretty embarrassing to admit for a lit/writing major but whatever, I guess my contemporary fiction is only up to date through the mid-eighties. For some reason I thought I wouldn’t like this book- I’ve had some trouble finding my footing with some of Atwood’s other titles in the past but the worry was unfounded as this was a very fast, smart read- my favorite kind. Next up is Little Bee by Chris Cleave. I feel like I struck a good balance in reading material this month and look forward to even more next month.

* I started running again! Exercising hobos unite! Although I’ve had a lazy week of ZERO runs, I have carved out a pretty good routine. I get up at 5:45am and run for roughly 40 minutes which puts me at about a 5k every day. I take it pretty slow because I don’t want things to end up like last year, but hopefully I’ll improve my times as I get in better shape.

And that’s pretty much it for May, and considering we spent almost every single week and weekend consumed by dance practice, recitals and competitions, I think it’s pretty OK. Now here’s some photographic evidence that we’re all still alive… well, I guess I don’t have any photos of Bill or Luna so I’ll keep you guessing if they’re still around…

Getting ready for her two shows for Sunday's recital. "This is the last time you're going to put a thousand and twenty bobby pins through my head for awhile, mom!" Neither of us will miss the getting ready portion of dance season.

A BIG THANK YOU {!!!!} to everyone who came out to support Rowan for her competitions and recitals. She loved knowing that she had a cheering section in the audience, especially when it included her cousins.

We are so proud of all her hard work this year.

Seeing as the temperatures are still sinking down to the 40's at night, we can't release the butterflies yet but are hoping to this weekend as some of them are getting a liiiittle too friendly {if you know what I mean, WINK WINK} and as much as we've enjoyed this experience I don't really want more baby butterflies at the moment. Fawksey and Monkey selflessly offered to take care of them for us but I don't think we'll take them up on that.

Keaton has been very preoccupied with his bubble mower, which is a nice distraction for him as he's firmly entered his terrible threes, which are rife with pouting, dramatics, and back-talk. His rough patches are usually pretty short lived so we're hoping for a VERY speedy turn around right now.

The blower...

And the popper. These two can play and entertain each other so great when they feel like it.

Which thankfully is more often than not.

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Ready, set, here we go for the March check in…

1. Learn the ins and outs of my new camera lens. I sort of gave up on this until I can get out an experiment in natural light. I was hoping by mid-March this would become a reality but, um, NO. Minnesota has not yet gotten the memo to get its temperatures out of the flipping 30’s. See also: Christy’s A Giant Baby in Cold Weather.

2. Take a DSLR workshop online or through comm ed. A great follow up class to the one I took in February was offered at the beginning of March and ran 5 weeks. I so wanted to sign up but I was just recovering from being sick and didn’t want to wear myself out so now I’ll have to wait for next fall when it’s offered again. I know what I need to do the most is just get out there and experiment so I’m going to try and make a habit of going on photography walks at least once a week this spring.

3. Run/walk/crawl a formal 5K.

4. Make a decision about faith and which church is right for us. I feel a little paralyzed by this right now. Like damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Rowan’s Sunday school classes will end mid-April and typically we sort of take a church vacation from Easter to Fall {how mature of us, I know} but life always seems to get in the way and I always feel so conflicted about being in a place that is supposed to be good but to me has completely skewed values. Ugh. In other words…I haven’t gotten very far on this goal at all but that doesn’t mean it isn’t on my mind.

5. Get a freaking haircut already you hippie. Are you ready for this? I don’t have a good before picture because for the last year I have either thrown my hair in a back pony or bun or used a metric ass ton of gel and scrunched it up so the dead ends couldn’t be detected. When I was sick and just wanted a back braid I brushed out my hair straight and what I saw was seriously appalling. The last 4-6 inches of my mop were completely dead- my stylist called it ‘cotton candy hair’ and oh, the ICK. I detailed here why I waited so long to get it cut but after seeing how awful it was I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I sought out Julie, who I’ve known since, well, birth- as our parents were life-long friends and I thought she worked at a salon near-by. She thankfully took my nasty hair in, cutting off somewhere between 6-8 inches and made me promise, SWEAR, that I would never go that long without a haircut again. Thanks, Julie! {And if you’re in the Stillwater area Japa is a great salon. If they could fix my mess of a head, you know they’re good.}

I also learned that trying to take a picture of yourself without looking like a complete idiot is pretty much impossible.

6. Drink water. Camel back purchased. BOOYA. Thanks for the tip, Eva!

7. Go on a debt diet from Jan-March. It’s safe to say we failed this goal spectacularly but it was sacrificed for the good of the other goals, such as #5, #2, #11, #15, #17, #18, and #24. We are now making a modified goal for this to help us on our way with #26, and we’re pretty darn motivated so hopefully we’ll be successful.

8. Find a workable routine to manage my free time during naps and preschool. HA, I can probably kiss this goal goodbye for awhile. I have been spending every last second of spare time doing this:

and probably will continue this way until dance competition and recital season is over at the end of May. Awesome.

9. Say I love you more. I LOVE YOU, INTERNET! {Just practicing. This one’s going to be really hard for me.} I’m trucking along. Some weeks I do better than others. Bill still won’t accept when I just say “Number 9, baby!” so I’m going to have to kick it up a notch, I think.

10. Be a diaper-free household by June 30th. The big plan was to train Keaton over spring break but because of the bed switcheroo we never made it. Now that dance stuff is pretty much taking over our life for the next 6-8 weeks, I’ll probably hold off. It’s hard because my kids are such night-pee-ers. If I followed the advice of the exerts and waited until they woke up dry a couple of nights in a row neither of them would night train until they turn 13. So we improvised with the potty chair next to the bed with Rowan as a transitional phase and it worked wonders but I’m not so sure how well Mr. Sir will take to it, so for now I’m happy to procrastinate on this one.

11. Eat more raw food every day. Yeah. Not so much. I have BIG plans for this summer though, when my diet will consist solely of fresh berries and gin and tonics {SHUT IT, TOTALLY COUNTS}.

12. Complete a 7 day cleanse. DONE.

13. Say ‘thank you’ more often. I’m doing pretty OK with this. Not spectacular, not life changing, but pretty OK.

14. Knit something.

15. Decorate this damn place already. I’m TERRIBLE at colors and putting rooms together. Someone offer to help me and I promise I’ll number 13 your ass. We made some pretty good progress with this this month thanks to our tax return. The kids’ room looks great with the bunk beds and I cleaned out both kids’ drawers and their closets. I also did a toy purge so my little niece was the proud recipient of lots of stuff that Rowan and Keaton have grown out of and although it was sad to see some items go I’m so glad they’re staying in the family. And who knows? Maybe they’ll cycle back to us one day.

On top of that we got nicer window treatments for the living room and our bedroom so this place looks more like a home and less like a college apartment with those crappy plastic blinds. We made some minor adjustments with the arrangement of some items in our room and that paired with the hanging of the photos I took of our trip up North last fall, has made a world of difference in our bedroom. Then we got a nicer faucet for the bathroom and mounted a jewelery cabinet which filled the wall space nicely. Everything we did were just minor tweaks but they really made a huge difference. I can’t believe it took us this long to figure it out. Up next…painting? We’ll see. I don’t want to get too crazy.

16. Be a nuk-free household by February 28th. CHECK!

17. Read for the love of God. Find a better balance of fiction and non-fiction. I slowed WAY down on this one this month. Part of the problem is that I went from a slew of fast-read fiction and memoirs and started a self-helpish type book {The Happiness Project} that’s not quite as engaging, but mostly it’s because of the Invasion of Sequins. I have a feeling I won’t be reading much over the coming weeks which makes me sad but I know I’ll be excited to pick it back up when I have the time. I did finish Cutting For Stone, which was really, REALLY good. I don’t think it’s for everybody but I couldn’t get enough of the completely foreign descriptions of life in Ethiopia. Bill is still reading out loud to me and we are currently on the 4th Percy Jackson and the Olympians book which are PERFECT read-aloud books, so I’m not completely depraved.

18. Get core in shape for the spring running. So my big goal was to start February 1st, which I did and made it a whopping 6 days before I became too ill to do anything. So last Monday I started in again with the Shred at 6am, ready to get my body moving after such a long winter of The Sick and The Sedentary {which should SO be the name of a soap opera starring me and Susan Lucci} and then Bill got sick last weekend and I started to as well but thankfully I knew enough to quit the workout and spend my time slamming Zicam and Emergen-C. It seems to have worked so Istarted back in this morning and hope to make it more than two days this time.

19. Go to at least one B&B this year.

20. Go back to Tetagouche. Take kids.

21. Keep up a weekly to-do list. This one’s going strong. It’s amazing how such a little thing can be such a big help to streamline these crazy spring weeks.

22. Keep my reactions to disappointment in check. I’ve been waffling on this. I surprise myself with how well I’ve dealt with big disappointments, taking the What Can You Do? approach, and then Bill will have used the last of the butter without putting a new stick on the tray and 20 minutes into my temper tantrum {about absolutely nothing!} I realize that maybe my reaction is a biiiiit disproportionate. So, yeah. I’ll work on that.

23. Remember to model myself, the behavior I expect form my kids. In my defense, I was doing really well with this until all these stupid fucking sequins entered my life.

24. Purchase bed sets for the kids. CHECK!

25. Start free-writing again. On paper.

26. Make this the last full year in this house. We started to take some steps to get the heck out of here as early as this summer but as things worked out we now have to wait until next year which is probably for the best. One of our most viable options is to rent this place out and in order for us to do that without taking a hit on what we would qualify for on a new mortgage we will need a pretty cushy savings account. So the name of the game is to save, save, save, to reach our goal of moving out of The Stepford Townhomes by spring/summer 2012. Here’s hoping…

So that’s it for this month~ Pretty solid for such a busy time and being healthy again has played a huge role in this. Unfortunately I’m still technically in blog jail until I finish embellishing Rowan’s costumes but I’ll poke my head in here when I can, if nothing else, blogs are a good place to hide from Gem-Tac glue, which I’m totally getting high from. Happy Monday, Internet!


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Time for the goal list check in which is totally on time this month so I win the internet today! Here goes…

1. Learn the ins and outs of my new camera lens. Here is one thing that I learned about my new camera lens: It doesn’t have a built in image stabilizer. The big problem here is that I have very, VERY shaky hands- almost comically so. They’ve been that way all of my life and it gets exaggerated depending on whether I’ve eaten or not or what kind of sugar or caffeine intake I’ve had that day. I’ve been trying to figure out why I was getting much blurrier pictures with the superior lens when it finally dawned on me. So that sucks but I’m determined to figure out a way to work around my old person hands.

2. Take a DSLR workshop online or through comm ed. Last Saturday I went to an all day workshop that helped get me more familiar with the manual settings on my camera. The first half of the day we went over composition, ISO, A/V (aperture), T/V (shutter speed), and different lens types, while the second half we were sent out with a partner with assignments to make good use of different types of light, and shoot scenes with a partner. I had an OK working knowledge of most everything we talked about going in, but it was a good solidifier to the research I’ve done on my own. I’m also pretty sure I’m going to go ahead with a 5 week course to work on a photography project with the same instructor. The only thing holding me back is that the class is on Tuesday nights and that would leave Bill taking both kids to Keaton’s soccer clinic which with homework and dance practice would make for a packed, rushed evening. We’ll see…

3. Run/walk/crawl a formal 5K. …

4. Make a decision about faith and which church is right for us. …

5. Get a freaking haircut already you hippie. I will say I thought really hard about just walking into a Fantastic Sam’s last Friday. I didn’t, of course, but still- that counts for something…?

6. Drink water. This month? FAIL.

7. Go on a debt diet from Jan-March. FAIL. Bill did get a promotion and a nice little bump though, so even though it’s cheating we are in a better position than we were before. We also took a chunk of his freelance money and paid off Rowan’s dance lessons through the end of May so that’s a big helper to our monthly budget. Now we just need to learn to live within that budget.

8. Find a workable routine to manage my free time during naps and preschool. This is a routine called whine and feel sorry for my diseased ass. So far this month if I’ve been feeling even remotely up to it I clean like a mad woman- scrubbing floors and disinfecting doorknobs and wiping down cabinets. Then I wear myself out and feel awful. I’m pretty sure this is not what I meant by “workable routine” to manage my free time.

9. Say I love you more. I LOVE YOU, INTERNET! {Just practicing. This one’s going to be really hard for me.} Uh…I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I’m an asshole when I’m sick. If I say “I hate you” like a pathetic hormone-seething teenager less than 10 times in 24 hours? Around here we call that a win.

10. Be a diaper-free household by June 30th. The plan is to try night training again over spring break, which for us is March 14-18.

11. Eat more raw food every day. Do Tagalongs count as raw food?

12. Complete a 7 day cleanse. DONE.

13. Say ‘thank you’ more often. See #9

14. Knit something. …

15. Decorate this damn place already. I’m TERRIBLE at colors and putting rooms together. Someone offer to help me and I promise I’ll number 13 your ass. …

16. Be a nuk-free household by February 28th. Next weekend is IT people. PRAY FOR US.

17. Read for the love of God. Find a better balance of fiction and non-fiction. You know what you CAN do when you’re sick? Number 17, bitches. This month I read Love Walked In, Belong To Me, Shiver, Half Baked, The Middle Place {Thanks, Sara!} and am now well into Cutting For Stone. The balance was pretty good as the first two are probably what you’d classify as chick-lit, Shiver is teen-fiction, the next two are memoirs which I devour- it only took me just over 24 hours a piece to read each- and then the last one is literature and definitely more meaty than the others. It’s been a really great experience to be able to lose myself in good books again. If you have any great fiction or non-fiction suggestions lay them on me or friend me on Goodreads.

18. Get core in shape for the spring running. I made a very honest try for this. Starting January 31st I got up at 6am to do the shred but with the plague I only made it 6 days before I realized that trying to work out when you feel like death is maybe not the best idea. I get how moderate exercise can help some people to recover- unfortunately I am not one of those people.

19. Go to at least one B&B this year. I’m trying to talk my husband into taking me here so I can both bed and breakfast with murderous ghosts and hang out with this awesome lady.

20. Go back to Tetagouche. Take kids. …

21. Keep up a weekly to-do list. This is what my weekly to do list looks like:

Monday: Try not to die.

Tuesday: Don’t die

Wednesday: Curb death. Also buy more DayQuil.

Thursday: Stay alive, etc. etc.

22. Keep my reactions to disappointment in check. Eh. I sort of just expect the worst in the cold, dark winter months so as long as we all stay alive I’m moderately surprised/content.

23. Remember to model myself, the behavior I expect form my kids. Well since I sort of expect them to be whiny demanding assholes when there sick, I think I’m doing a goddamn good job on number 23.

24. Purchase bed sets for the kids. This weekend we went bunk bed shopping for the kids. Ideally they aren’t our first choice, but with the space we have, they make the most sense. After seeing what was out there we came home and looked to see what the Almighty Internet had to offer. Unfortunately we made the mistake of letting Rowan sit with us while we looked and so of course she picked out this one for herself: Or if that one wasn’t available she would settle for this one:When we pointed out that it maybe wasn’t fair to Keaton to get such girly sets, she not-so-surprisingly wasn’t too concerned stating that his bed would still fit in the corner of the room and if he was good she’d let him use the slide for a small fee.

25. Start free-writing again. On paper. …

26. Make this the last full year in this house. …

So there you have it. Sort of two steps forward, two steps back, but for February I guess things are looking pretty good. I could seriously do with a good two weeks of NOT being sick though I’m not holding my breath because I feel like whatever I have is slowly moving into my chest, producing a lovely, dulcet gagging cough that sort of sounds like I’m drowning on a pack of cigarettes, which is, you know, a pretty awesome party trick.

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You guys? I got up at 5:40 this morning. ON PURPOSE. Well, I was supposed to get up at 6am on purpose but I had a really weird dream about being caught in a snowstorm so when I woke up with a start, I just stayed awake because my brain has a nasty little habit of picking up right where it leaves off in the nightmare department and I really didn’t want to see the conclusion to Keaton being sucked into a giant snow tornado that I’m pretty sure had fangs.

So. Yeah. 5:40am.

I made a deal with myself that to get through the drab of winter I could indulge in olives and cheese and whatever else would carry me through the months of January and February all whilst sitting squarely on my ass. This is a little game I play with myself every winter and every spring I have to pay the price. Last year was no big deal because I breastfed until March and I am one of those assholes who can eat whatever they want while they’re nursing, without gaining anything. I don’t apologize for this. I was excruciatingly nauseated for the entirety of both of my pregnancies so this was owed to me. OWED, I say.

This year though, I was sadly NOT breastfeeding and March 15 was the date I picked to start the pay back. By running. At 6am. And when I say running, I mean that at some point down the road I expect this to turn into a sort of recognizable run. Right now it’s more of a joggerwalky sort of thing that results in a lot of “OK, I will speed up from this fire hydrant to that street light, and then Dear God I will walk the next half mile” or “Luna, you look so tired, maybe we should slow down. Ease you into this.” and “Oh I think she has to go to the bathroom, I should probably stop so she can figure out a primo spot for her poop. I know how important that is to her.” What can I say? It was my first day. I have a few kinks to work out.

So I know at least a few people are laughing at this (I can hear you, family members) because they know how thoroughly UN-MORNING I am. I only do mornings because my children are evil dictators and society warns us that if we don’t like mornings we will go nowhere in life. Morning people rule the world and everyone else is a lazy good-fer-nothing. So I usually get up at the respectable but not too early 7:15. Ish. But in order to complete the 3 mile run I have to give myself about an hour. I’ve tried saving my work-out routines for the end of the day but I can never keep it up. There is always something we want to do as a family and excuse this and procrastinate that. What it really comes down to is that by the time Bill gets home I am exhausted and the last thing I want to do is run because I honestly feel like I’ve been running all day. I can do it. I have done it. But I feel like I want to try this early bird time out for a while to see if it works better.

So out I went. I sort of forgot that with the daylight saving business it would be pitch black for the duration of my time out there, but when I walked out my front door at 6:03 (AM, have I mentioned the AM part yet?) and looked up and saw stars, with Rufus Wainwright crooning “Halleluia” in my ear, I felt really good. A little scared that a psychopath/murderer was waiting to drag me off the path into the woods to his underground lair- but still, good. And as I put one foot in front of the other, and adjusted to the 40 degree temp, I almost started enjoying myself.

There were (presumably) other moms out there, running in pairs for safety or companionship (I, apparently, live in the danger zone with only my yappy canine for protection). They, like me, are getting some exercise and time to themselves before the demands of the day kick in. Some had fancy head lights (literally, lights on their head) for running in the dark, all had fancy spandex pants and thermal sweatshirts with reflectors. I had on my winter coat and some yoga pants and Bill lovingly pointed out to me when I got home if any of the other joggers were concerned I was a mugging victim running down the street. Or some sort of exercising hobo perhaps. I told him he is not allowed to make eye contact with me that early in the morning, much less speak to me. ASSHOLE.

For now I promise I will purchase some better looking running clothes so as not to cause a distraction to the other people on the trail, I wouldn’t want to cause a gawker slow-down, but I’m waiting until I lose a block of cheese or two. Other than that, what can I say? Here we are. At the beginning. Of warmer weather, and hopefully, a healthier me.

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